San Francisco just can't hear enough about her. But that's too bad - she's leaving Oct. 28.

Singer-performer Varla Jean Merman, the rumored love child of Ernest Borgnine and Ethel Merman, opens the "World Tour" sold out the final week of her autobiographical one woman show, Enough About Me, and will close, as scheduled, on the 28th. Performances of the popular show began Sept. 27 at the New Conservatory Theatre.

Having traveled the world in search of fame and fortune, Merman discovered the most painful truth of all — the truth about herself. This show promises to reveal the Varla Jean rarely glimpsed at in her previous outings I, Who Have Nothing, Peel Me A Grape, Varla Jean Merman: A Christmas Concert, Varla Jean Merman Is The Bad Seedling and The Very Worst of Varla Jean Merman.

Varla has even crafted several standards to fit her egotistical needs including "The Windmills of My (Your) Mind," "Sunday Morning Coming Down," "Dream a Little Dream of Cheese" and "Burn, Baby, Burn," morphing the disco classic with another well-known piece, "Carmina Burana." She also proports to tell her entire life story in one song, "Those Were Happy Days," a tale of birth, weight gain and step aerobics that shadows another performer with a famous mama.

Merman is the creation of Jeffrey T. Roberson, who has appeared on Broadway in Chicago and in cabaret opposite Betty Buckley singing excerpts from Carrie. He won a 1997 Bistro Award and a 1998 Mac Award. Tickets are $30-$15. Varla Jean Merman officially opened Sept. 30. The New Conservatory Theatre Center is located at 25 Van Ness Avenue near Market Street. For reservations, call (415) 861 8972. The New Conservatory Theatre is on the web at http://www.nctcsf.org.

-- By Christine Ehren