Goofy Play Titles of 1996

Goofy Play Titles of 1996 The year 1996 produced more than its share of plays with idiosyncratic titles.

The year 1996 produced more than its share of plays with idiosyncratic titles.

There was nothing on the order of The Persecution and Assassination of Marat as Performed by the Inmates of Charenton Under the Direction of the Marquis de Sade -- but many of the titles were plenty eyebrow-raising enough.

Here is a rundown of the oddest, as chosen by the staff of Playbill On-Line. Try to imagine yourself inviting a date to one of these. "Honey, guess what? I've got tickets for us to see . . ."

Permanent Brain Damage (Risk It! Risk It!) at Ontological-Hysteric Theatre, NY

Too Much Light Makes the Baby Go Blind at Neo-Futurarium, Chicago Farewell, My CompuServe at Second City, Chicago

Dry Lips Oughta Move To Kapuskang at La MaMa ETC, NY

Licking Lightbulbs at Working Stage Company, LA

Two Very Dangerous People Living in One Small Space Together at Nada, NY

The Vagina Monologues at Here, NY

Lippizaner, Teeth Apart: National Tour at Annex Theatre, Seattle

A Long Swollen Journey Into Night at Theatre of Note, Hollywood, CA

The Male Intellect, An Oxymoron at Mercury Theatre, Chicago

Shut Up I Tell You at Elevator Repair Service at PS 122, NY

Sister Mary Amnesia's Nunsense Jamboree, various venues

Duelling Bankheads Family Jamboree at Duplex Cabaret, NY

Dr. Seuss' Green Eggs and Ham and Gertrude McFuzz: A New Musical at Stage One, Louisville, KY

. . . And the Ball and All at True Brew Theatre, New Orleans

The All-Nude College Girl Revue at Samuel Beckett Theatre, NY

Dimly Perceived Threats to the System at Illusion Theatre, Minneapolis

Big Butt Girls, Hard-Headed Women at La MaMa ETC, NY

Emmett: A One Mormon Show at NY Theatre Workshop, NY

431 Of My Closest Friends at Jewish Repertory, NY

I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change at Westside Theatre, NY

Making Porn at Actors Playhouse, NY

The New Bozena: Winter Is The Coldest Season at the Cherry Lane Theatre, NY

Planet Of The Mutagens at Mutt Rep, NY

Psychopathia Sexualis at Seattle Rep, Seattle

Two Bourgeois Blacks at Henry Street Settlement, NY

Exploding Love at Key West Theatre Fest, FL

Between Men & Cattle at Apple Tree, Chicago

Cast On A Hot Tin Roof - A Dysfunctional Dixie Christmas at Free Associates troupe, Chicago

Pinata Full Of Bees at Second City, Chicago

Wasp In A Lampshade at Transient Theatre, Chicago

How To Talk Minnesotan - The Musical at Plymouth Playhouse, Plymouth, MN

Gentlemen Prefer Bonds Or, Girls Just Wanna Have Funds at Apollo Theatre, Chicago

Pet Scare Theatre at Factory Theatre, Chicago

White Trash Wedding & A Funeral at Factory Theatre, Chicago

Rat Dog & Princess Toad Meet The Big Bad Wolf at Pheasant Run Theatre, St. Charles, IL

Losing Father's Body at Next Company, Chicago

Who Shot Doc At The Sock Hop at Club Musique, Claremont, CA

Pomp, Duck And Circumstance at Battery Park, NY

Mass Murderers And Serial Killers at Palladium, NY

Canus Loonis Balloonis at Red Orchid Theatre, Chicago

Shannen Doherty Shoots A Porno at Torso Theatre, Chicago

More Fun Than Bowling at Touchstone Theatre, Chicago

Jingle Pickles at Cowell Theatre, San Francisco

Jingle Balls Company of Angels, LA

I Licked A Slag's Deodorant at Royal Court Theater, London

Forty Ounces and a Mule at Second City, Chicago

Howard Crabtree's When Pigs Fly Fairbanks Theatre, NY

Medea: The Musical Stage Door Theatre, San Francisco

Titanic: The Musical coming to Lunt-Fontanne Theatre, NY

Shopping and F---ing at the Royal Court Upstairs Stage, London

-- By Robert Viagas