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Is anybody else exhausted? Since when does Daylight Savings Time begin in March? Is every time-honored event now arbitrary and subject to convenience? It's like when Washington's birthday and Lincoln's birthday got combined into President's Day. I'm sure their spirits want their individual birthdays celebrated on their actual birthdays! I wouldn't want to celebrate mine on a generic "Pianist's Day." Anyhoo, despite losing an hour, I actually got up on time to make it downstairs to meet my car by 6:30 AM, [AUDIO-LEFT]which was really 5:30 AM. Of course, I was in California at the time, so it was really just 8:30 New York time. But that still is sort of early…ish. Right now I'm at LAX, heading home. I was here to play in a benefit for Desert AIDS Project, which is wonderful organization that's been around for 30 years. During the event, they told everyone that when they first started working with AIDS patients, there was no real treatment and a long-time survivor meant 18 months. Nowadays, they have clients who were infected years ago, but are still going strong. Desert AIDS has built amazing medical facilities and housing units for clients, and provides educational outreach, HIV testing, legal assistance and much more. They also deliver food to low-income clients and one of the deliverymen is… my Dad! He lives in Palm Desert and has been volunteering at the food bank for years. And, P.S., he's about to turn 80 next week. He's still got it!
My friend Jack Plotnick drove me from L.A. to Palm Springs and we met my Dad and his wife, Gloria, for brunch. Jack was asking my father about being in the Korean War and I found out a story I didn't know. Turns out, he was stationed in Germany when the war ended but still had a few weeks left in the army. He was thrilled when he found out that he was approved for a month's leave before his final discharge. He was excited because he was able to use the army plane for free and he flew immediately to Paris. He was all set for a delicious month of museum-going, wine-drinking and dame-dating. His first afternoon there, he was sitting in an outdoor café, drinking espresso. Suddenly, two army men came up and told him he had to come back to the base. He had no idea what he had done but he had no choice but to go with them. When he got back, he found out the "good" news; a few weeks before, he had told his mother that even though the war had ended, he couldn't get an early leave. Well, she made tons of phone calls and finally convinced the army to let him end his service early. Yay? He got to curtail his 30 days in Paris to leave Europe immediately — for Brooklyn. It was 55 years ago. Still devastated.
Ann-Margret is a big supporter of Desert AIDS and before she went on, she was introduced to Audra backstage. Audra expected a polite "hello," but the first thing Ann-Margret said to her was, "So, will Naomi get back together with Sam?" Turns out, even Kim McAfee watches "Private Practice"!
Audra and I were talking about our dogs and she told met that her new doggie sleeps at the foot of the bed and snores up a storm. The laundry basket in the bedroom is on Audra's side of the bed and in the morning she'll look toward the bottom the bed and notice that her dog is covered in socks and random bras. Even though Audra doesn't remember because she's only half awake, she obviously gets woken up in the middle of the night by the snoring, reaches over the side of the bed and flings various underthings to quiet that mutt! It's either that, or her dog is a drag queen. Speaking of dogs, I was chatting with my sister, Nancy, who told me that everybody seems to have one in Virginia Beach (where she lives). She always forgets how much of a dog culture she's in and is constantly misunderstanding things. For instance, someone posted on Facebook that they almost "lost their baby" and Nancy was devastated thinking there was a pregnancy mishap, but it turned out that the woman's dog almost got off its leash. Nancy is now trying to remember that most things pertain to dogs in her part of the state and she told me about a conversation she recently had with a friend. When you read it, make sure you do it sing-song style, a la Alexi Darling in Rent. "Nancy!" the woman trilled. "Our family's about to get a new addition!" The last word was sustained with vibrato. "Details!" Nancy sang back. "Terry is moving in!" The woman continued, with the same melody. "That's a-dorable!" Nancy sing-song'd. Then silence. Finally, the woman glared and said, "Uh…I guess it's 'adorable' that my 17-year-old stepson is moving in with us." Nancy thought quickly and said, "Well, it's adorable because of all that youthful energy!" Huh? First of all, her cover-up makes no sense. But more importantly, Nancy asked me, "Why would the woman add vibrato to the word 'addition' if it wasn't about a dog?" Valid point. Everyone in music conservatory teaches: Dog = vibrato, stepson = straight tone.
Speaking of Virginia, I just got booked in a Southern state. I'm going to be doing Deconstructing Broadway and a master class at the Kennedy Theater in North Carolina! Get ticket info and sign up here. And this week for Sony, I deconstructed the unbelievable voice of Lillias White. This is a brilliant Ted Sperling arrangement of "Brotherhood of Man" from How To Succeed….
On my flight out to L.A., I got to be in First Class! It wasn't that fake first class I had to endure before, it was delicious! It had a fabulous meal, direct TV, enormous seats and non-stop coffee. Then, at the very end, I smelled something yummy. That's right, they brought out the signature, First Class warm cookie! I was thrilled beyond belief. Finally, a First Class that meets my expectations. As I was served the cookie, I asked the flight attendant for some milk because, while I like cookies, my favorite snack in the world is cookies and milk. She looked at me and stated, "Sorry, sir. We don't serve milk." What? Unbelievable. I've said it before and I'll say it again: "My personal shopper is the worst!" (Seth Rudetsky has played piano in the pits of many Broadway shows including Ragtime, Grease and The Phantom of the Opera. He was the artistic producer/conductor for the first five Actors Fund concerts including Dreamgirls and Hair, which were both recorded. As a performer, he appeared on Broadway in The Ritz and on TV in "All My Children," "Law and Order C.I." and on MTV's "Made" and "Legally Blonde: The Search for the Next Elle Woods." He has written the books "The Q Guide to Broadway" and "Broadway Nights," which was recorded as an audio book on Audible.com. He is currently the afternoon Broadway host on Sirius/XM radio and tours the country doing his comedy show, "Deconstructing Broadway." He can be contacted at his website SethRudetsky.com, where he has posted many video deconstructions.)