*
Well, it happened. I entered the "white room" (for an explanation of that term, keep reading). It all began last week during a performance of The Daring Duo, in my Midtown March Medley. The play I wrote is a comedy caper about a soon-to-be-married couple (David Turner and I) who agree to perform in the luxury apartment of a notorious gangster. Here is a section of the dialogue that happens when Jake (me) and Jonathan (David) are in the apartment waiting for Bruno to enter the living room:
JAKE: I hope he likes our performance.
JONATHAN: We may never know. Carlos Gonzales did a performance here once and said that Bruno spent the whole time on his phone.
JAKE: And you believe him? Carlos spent time at Betty Ford.
JONATHAN: No…he spent time with Betty Ford! He performed at the White House!
JAKE: For Republicans? I'm out.
Anyhoo, during the third performance I noticed David's face change while he said his first line. I knew something was about to happen, but I didn't know what. He began speaking normally but there was a slight hesitation right before he said "Carlos Gonzales." Instead he said, "And you believe him? (slight pause…then) Marcos played a recital here and said that Bruno spent the whole time on his phone."
So, it was, of course, funny to me that he forgot the name and I could see it happening but I was obsessed with how his mind works: the character "Carlos Gonzales" is never mentioned again and I arbitrarily named him that, but David couldn't just say "John" or "Mike"…he had to "honor my writing" and replace it with a Hispanic-sounding name. Amazing on Filofax action! Then, what made the situation funnier for us is that I had to follow his line and repeat the name he came up with. So, I said "And you believe him? (Slight awkwardness) Marcos… spent time at Betty Ford." Now, in a normal show, we'd go offstage in the next scene and laugh about what happened. But we're pretty much onstage together for the whole 85 minutes, so by the time we could discuss it, the tension of not discussing it had built up so much that David was laughing so hard after the show he had tears in his eyes. Well, cut to a few performances later; we started the first scene and when I got to my seventh line I completely went blank. That's what's called entering the white room; meaning there is nothing but whiteness around you. Nothing to grab onto. This time, it was not funny…it was devastating. I just kept repeating my subtext and pretending it was a line: "I want to do something daring… you know, something daring". Silence. Finally, David was amazing and said a line he knew would trigger me and I was back on track. And by being "back on track" I mean I was in a panic for the rest of the show that it could happen again at any moment. The entire show felt like walking in a mine field. After the show, David texted me. "Suddenly, Marcos doesn't seem so bad, does it?" Exactly!!
My friend Tim Cross posted on my Facebook page his theory: Apparently casting Seth Rudetsky in your show is the new "jumping the shark". Hilarious!
Speaking of Tim, I was reminded of him recently when I saw Dan Fink at one of the Midtown March Medley shows. Dan and I both did Les Miz back in the '90s. He was Feuilly (the one who has to hit the high A when he sings "We'll be there!") and I was a keyboard sub. Last Saturday, he was supposed to come to Unbroken Circle (in MMM), but couldn't make it. Why? Because when he tried to leave his apartment, the doorknob fell off in his hand! He was locked inside his own apartment! A few years ago, Tim was supposed to meet me, my good friend Jack Plotnick and my ex-boyfriend Aaron Dai for lunch. Tim called me and said he got locked into his apartment and asked me and Jack to get him out. Aaron was at work and we told him we'd be a half-hour late. Jack and I got to Tim's apartment and figured how to get his door open. We came into his apartment and a few minutes later, Tim approached us, looking pale. Turns out, he wanted to see if the door would do the same thing again, so he closed the door to test it! Guess what? It did do the same thing again but this time the difference was Tim, Jack and I were all locked in his apartment! Sadly, I was elected to make the mortifying phone call to Aaron and say that, yes, we did indeed unlock Tim's door, but now all of us were locked inside. Aaron was so irritated but still have the sense of humor to rage: "You're all like a bunch of Keystone Kops!" Excellent and accurate bust!
Speaking of Jack, I started again putting up what I call "Daily Shout-Outs" on my website, SethTV.com. Today's Shout-Out features Jack (who flew in to see all four Midtown March Medley shows) and in it he re-enacts what happened when he lost his voice doing A Little Night Music in college and he was forced to lip-synch while someone backstage sang his part. And, P.S., the person backstage singing his part was Kinky Boots star Billy Porter. The entire event was a big bomb and so effing funny. Take a gander!
Let me end by saying "Happy Passover" and, for you bread-abstainers, enjoy a low-carb week!
(Seth Rudetsky is the afternoon Broadway host on SiriusXM. He has played piano for over 15 Broadway shows, was Grammy-nominated for his concert CD of Hair and Emmy-nominated for being a comedy writer on "The Rosie O'Donnell Show." He has written two novels, "Broadway Nights" and "My Awesome/Awful Popularity Plan," which are also available at Audible.com. He recently launched SethTV.com, where you can contact him and view all of his videos and his sassy new reality show.)