Do not attempt to kill any of the D'Ysquiths at A Gentleman's Guide to Love and Murder yourself. A union murderer has been engaged for this purpose.

Do not try to board the flying carpet in Aladdin. There is a strict weight limit for it to remain airborne.

Doorbells in The Book of Mormon are special effects, and not connected to anyone's front door.

The hospital in Fish in the Dark is not real. If you're hurt, call a doctor.

Do not expect to be fitted for shoes at Kinky Boots. Those red boots are specially built weeks in advance, however quickly they may seem to be made during the show. Also, no rides on the conveyor belt. In It Shoulda Been You, the wedding cake is a prop and not edible. Please have dessert before you come.

While you may hum along from your seat, please do not attempt to become the fifth Jersey Boy, as all arrangments are for four-part harmony only.

However tempting it may be to try them on, only Hedwig is allowed to wear those wigs.

Stay off the boat in Phantom of the Opera. There are only enough life jackets for two.

Begone from the stage at Wicked before somebody drops a house on you, too!