Sometimes the title says it all: The King And I, Death of a Salesman, The Lion King.
Sometimes the title says very little yet conveys a whole bunch: Oklahoma!, Cabaret, American Buffalo.
And sometimes the title, well...

In that spirit, Playbill On-Line presents its third annual year-end list of GOOFY TITLES, culled from actual plays performed (or at least stage-read) at theatres across the country. Try to imagine yourself inviting a date to one of these. "Honey, guess what? I've got tickets for us to see . . ."

ANIMALS

The Hoboken Chicken Emergency at NY's Jan Hus Playhouse

Lobster Alice at Playwrights' Center, Minneapolis Mummified Monkey at Actors' Gang in L.A.

Cockroach, Who? at Tuesday Laboratory in L.A.

Rattlesnake In A Cooler at Wolfskill Theatre, L.A.

5500 Dogs at Buddies in Bad Times Theatre, Toronto

Laying Off the Lizard Boy at B Street Theatre in Sacramento, CA

Knives in Hens at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival

What Became of Owen Beavers the Actors' Gang in L.A.

Babe, The Sheep-Pig at Dallas Children's Theatre.

Waiter, There's A Slug In My Latte at Cafe de Paris in Seattle

VAGUELY SALACIOUS

Behind The Counter With Mussolini at Theatre at St. Peter's, NYC

Make Me Hotta, Lysistrata! at NY Fringe Festival

The Balled Sopranos: At Home with the Kinsey Sicks at New Conservatory Theatre Center, San Francisco

Splitting Hairs With A Panty Ho at Printer's Devil Theatre in Seattle

Big Dick Whittington and His Little Pussy at Brick Lane Music Hall in London

Nude Boys Prancing About at Vortex Theatre Company, NYC

Unzippin' My Doo-Dah and Other National Priorities, Capitol Steps at the John Houseman Theatre, NY.

Saucy Jack and the Space Vixens at Queen's Theatre, London

Female Problems: An Unhelpful Guide, at Pegasus Players in Chicago

I Swear To You, Jane, That I Have an Itch for You (Te Juro, Juana, Que Tengo Ganas) at Repertorio Espanol, NY

I'm Sweating Under my Breasts by Sweat Girls troupe in Chicago and at NY International Fringe Festival.

Ladies Night in a Turkish Bath at Allenberry Playhouse, Boiling Springs, PA

Two Virgins in Togas Chained to a Rock, at Ensemble Studio Theatre's Octoberfest, NYC

Babes with Blades at Footsteps Theatre in Chicago

Shopping and Fucking at New York Theatre Workshop

Fucking Hell at New Dramatists in NY

SAY THAT AGAIN?

Killing My Lobster Packs A Lunch at Seattle's Naked Fringe Festival

Dumpster Bergel at Printer's Devil Theatre in Seattle

Splash Hatch on the E Going Down at Baltimore's CenterStage

The Trial of One Short-Sighted Black Woman Vs. Mammy Louise And Safreeta Mae at New Federal Theatre, NY.

Get Out Your Dead Stamp at the Stage Directors & Choreographers Foundation, NY

Cleo, Camping, Emmanuelle and Dick at Royal National Theatre, London

Ugly's First World at Actor's Gang in L.A.

Harsh Epiphany and Glengarry Glen Girl Scout at NY Fringe Festival

Gross Indulgences: The Trials Of Liberace at San Francisco's New Conservatory Theatre. (A production by The Hot Pants Homo Players)

Fuddy Meers at Eugene O'Neill Theatre Center.

Cookin' With a Right Smart of Love at Two Roads Theatre in Studio City, CA.

Chester Chester Chester Chester Chester, The Ben and Jerry Theatre, Seattle

Boom Boom -- Boom Boom at LAByrinth Theatre Company in NY

Talk Talk at the Los Angeles Theatre Center

At Demons With My Face, Market Theatre, Seattle

A Wheelie Bin Ate My Sister (UK)

Acme Schmacme at Acme Players L.A.

Mizlansky/Zilinsky or 'schmucks' at Manhattan Theatre Club

Titanium Sutrarama: I Was A Record Player at NY's HERE

Comas Don't Count (If You're An Insomniac) at NY Fringe Festival.

Comas Don't Count as an Excuse for Not Surfing Reality Surf Reality in NYC.

The Dreams, Delusions, and Nightmares of Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and Her Other Realms and Territories, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith, Queen at Theatre de la Jeune Lune, Minneapolis.

e at A.C.T. in San Francisco

VIVID IMAGES

Donut Holes in Orbit at Ensemble Studio Theatre in New York

Kill the Old, Torture Their Young at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival

So I Killed a Few People by Chicago's Annoyance Theatre

Santa's Busted Jaw by Michael Shamus Wiles, Wolfskill Theatre, L.A.

The Race of the Ark Tattoo: A Play in a Flea Market, P.S. 122 in NY

Bad Night at the Bomb Shelter Bar and Grill at the Santa Monica Playhouse.

Frozen, or Dead? at the Dorie Theatre at the Complex Theatre, Hollywood, CA

Eating the Dead at Powerhouse Theatre in Poughkeepsie, NY.

Do You Have Gas by Theatre Unlimited, Bemidji, MN

The Tragedy of Johnnius Carson at American Globe Theatre in NY

The Trestle at Pope Lick Creek at Actors Theatre of Louisville, KY

Lesbians Who Kill at Moonlight Theatre in Washington, D.C.

Die, Die, Diana, a "musical comedy about the death of Princess Diana," at San Jose State University, CA

My Client's a Lunatic at Bitter Truth Theatre in North Hollywood, CA.

I Don't Wanna Talk To You . . . I Just Want to Leave a Message at Theatre of NOTE

My Mother Was an Alien -- Is That Why I'm Gay? at the Finborough Theatre, London

Don't Grab the Gowns Until You See the Gurney! at New York Theatre Workshop.

I Could Stop on a Dime and Get Ten Cents Change at Cleveland Play House

Misshapen Jack, The Nebraska Hunchback at NY Fringe Festival

The Ballad of Lily From Hell at Powerhouse Theatre in Poughkeepsie, NY.

Queen Esther: Unemployed Superstar at NY International Fringe Festival

My Big Fat Greek Wedding at Hudson Backstage Theatre, Hollywood

TITLES THAT DIDN'T FIT INTO THE OTHER CATEGORIES BUT NONETHELESS STRUCK US AS ODD

Mahu From Oahu (Only 45 Light Years From Broadway) at Thumper's Oak Room in Madison, WA

Jane and the Unpleasantness at Scargrave Manor at Lifeline Theatre in Chicago

Candude, or the Optimistic Civil Servant at in LA

Horrible Child at Printer's Devil Theatre in Seattle

NeoNatalSweetPotato at Los Kabayitos Puppet Theatre in New York

WEIRD NAME FOR AN IMPROV GROUP

Three Dead Trolls in a Baggie, of Edmonton, Canada

Lastly, while Dream at Ensemble Studio Theatre in NY did not have a weird title, here is the plot synopsis, as submitted by the producers to Playbill On-Line: "A woman whose tryst with a carton of ice cream is interrupted by a monster who refuses to explode."

-- Compiled by Robert Viagas, David Lefkowitz and the Staff of Playbill On-Line