Episode 6.8: "A Wedding"

Okay, first things first: Darren Criss will be the next Hedwig on Broadway. Darren Criss will be the next Hedwig on Broadway, you guys!! If you want some evidence of how Criss sounds without the autotuning that "Glee’s" sound editors insist on using, look up some clips on YouTube of him singing at Marie’s Crisis Cafe. Yeah, he’s got a great voice, and he keeps getting better and better as an actor. So do you have your tickets yet? Go ahead, grab ‘em now.

All done? Good. So, back to the show. We open in a...barn? Really? Straw on the ground and everything. The creaky barn doors open (creakily, of course), and Whitney Pierce (Jennifer Coolidge) leads her daughter Brittany (Heather Morris), her soon-to-be daughter-in-law Santana (Naya Rivera), her daughter’s ex Artie (Kevin McHale) and Santana’s mom Maribel (Gloria Estefan) into the cavernous space.

Artie sets the scene for us: “Why are we in a barn in rural northeast Indiana?” Way to go with the exposition there, episode writer Ross Maxwell. “Gay marriage is legal in Ohio but legal in Indiana,” Santana explains, but Artie asks the question again: “What are we doing in a barn in rural northeast Indiana?” “I thought it would be fun for you two to get married in the barn that Brittany was born in,” Whitney says. It would seem that 20 years ago, Pierce Pierce had his heart set on a trip to Amish country, and after spending a day looking at “handcrafted Amish electric fireplaces,” Whitney went into labor with Brit-Brit and gave birth in the barn. (“I was very lucky because there was a cow over there and he helped lick you clean.”) “That story’s insane,” Maribel deadpans, speaking for the whole audience. Anyway, Santana likes the idea of getting married in the barn, and Maribel agrees that she “can work with this.” “You’d better,” Whitney mutters, and Maribel glares. Artie, the official wedding planner, agrees that the place “has some potential,” and we get a little montage of people cleaning out the barn and turning it into a pretty, rustic wedding venue. Because every couple picks their wedding venue a week or so before the ceremony.

Kurt (Chris Colfer) walks through the barn and praises everyone’s work while Tina (Jenna Ushkowitz) whines about having to lug 700-pound bales of hay. Oh, quit whining, Tina. Someone somewhere is lugging an 800-pound bale of hay. “I didn’t think I’d get stuck doing heavy manual labor or I wouldn’t have worn heels!” she wails. Also, much like Rachel a few episodes ago, she doesn’t know the new kids and they won’t talk to her and blah blah blah why do the writers make Tina so dull and whiny? Jenna Ushkowitz is such a terrific comedienne and her talents are just wasted when Tina is written this way. Also, is Tina ever going back to Brown? Anyway... Up in a loft, Brit-Brit is freaking out that the barn may collapse and kill everybody. (Wedding checklist item 1: Is your venue structurally sound? If not, GTFO.) Kurt assures her that these are just pre-wedding jitters, but Brittany says that they haven’t had their final fittings (wedding checklist item 2: Have your final fitting sometime before the rehearsal dinner!) and she just got a telegram from Martina Navratilova “that she can’t be our officiant because she’s never really done it before and she doesn’t really know either of us.” (...A telegram? Also, wedding checklist item 3: Know who will officiate before the one-month mark.) She continues to micro-manage everybody and to generally freak out, and asks Kurt how he planned his wedding. He reminds her that he and Blaine broke up before they reached this part, and she acknowledges that it’s hard to keep track of their relationship. (Truer words never spoken.) “This isn’t about me,” Kurt says (I’ll take “Things Rachel would never Say” for $200, Alex), but Brittany, suddenly turning mean, begins ripping on Kurt for dating a man “older than your dad,” but that gives him an idea to have Burt Hummel officiate the ceremony. Brittany likes the idea.

In a wedding dress shop (wedding checklist item 4: Choose your dresses more than a month before the ceremony), Santana tells Mercedes (Amber Riley), Rachel (Lea Michele) and Tina that both she and Brittany will be trying on dresses together but don’t want to see what the other is wearing, so they will be emerging one at a time. As they sip champagne (have all of the characters turned 21 yet? Didn’t Tina just graduate from high school last year?), Brit-Brit and Santana show off different dresses, and a lot of them are really pretty, especially a flapper-inspired piece that gets Santana doing a Charleston that makes me smile in spite of myself. Brittany does ho-down in a Western dress, and then models one with LED-lights sewn in that makes my eyes bleed from pure tackiness. One of Santana’s is a really sharp white pants-suit that gets “yes”-es from the girls, and finally Brittany emerges in this stunning gown that is just elegant and graceful and flawless—but just as she decides on the dress, she realizes that Santana is watching and has a panic attack that seeing each other in their gowns will bring bad luck.

McKinley choir room! “Hey, guys? Do you mind if I ritualistically slaughter this chicken?” Brittany says without preamble as she walks into the room. “I want to counteract the bad luck of Santana seeing me in my wedding dress.” Rachel, the vegan, freaks out, and Santana escorts her fiancee out of the room. “This is your lucky day, sir,” Brittany tells the chicken, and if it’s a male chicken, then that makes it a cock, so please make your own offensive lesbian joke here. She sets the bird down in the hallway and goes back inside the choir room, and I want a spin-off series about the adventures of a chicken wandering the halls of a high school.

Inside, Brittany suggests seating people for the reception based on the Dewey decimal system. “Kurt should sit with Rachel because they’re both a little annoying—no offense,” she adds to Rachel, who is in the room. Sam and Rachel, in spite of their upgraded relationship status, will not be seated together because Rachel doesn’t want Carole and Burt (Finn’s mom and stepfather, respectively) to be upset that she’s moved on. Mercedes assures Rachel that “everybody” is fine with her dating Sam, and I’m sure Burt and Carole appreciate Mercedes telling other people what they think. Rachel admits that she hasn’t spoken much to her late fiance’s mother recently, but Mercedes notes that both Burt and Carole lost people they loved and moved on to one another. As Rachel rearranges the chairs to put herself next to Sam, Santana notices that Sue is on the list and insists that her former coach and mentor is not invited. Brittany is more charitable, however, noting that she and Santana met as Cheerios. “If you invite the woman to the wedding, there’s an 80 percent chance that she’s gonna ruin it," Mercedes notes. “But if you don’t, there’s a 99 percent chance that she will," Rachel counters. But Santana lays down the law: “If [Sue] is there, then I’m not.”

At the Lima Bean, Walter (Harry Hamlin) discusses where he and Kurt will get their suits for the wedding, but Kurt reveals that he plans to attend with Blaine instead. Walter, no fool, understands what this means, and says that he’s not mad, only jealous—not just of Kurt and Blaine’s future and opportunities, but of what he might have had if he had been honest about his own sexuality earlier in his life. “You’re lucky, Kurt,” he says. “Go be lucky. And whatever happens, even if you get hurt again, just remember: The only thing worth doing is going toward love. Don’t waste time double-guessing, and don’t waste time behaving yourself. You gotta run. You gotta jump. Because it won’t stick around forever. You gotta grab it while it’s in front of you. And whatever you do, don’t let go.” Interspersed throughout this monologue are shots of Kurt running down a street (it looks like it’s fall out) and knocking on the door of a box-filled apartment. Blaine answers the door and, seeing Kurt out-of-breath, asks if his ex is okay. “No, I’m not okay,” Kurt gasps as he pushes Blaine into the surprisingly spacious apartment. “I love you!” he stammers. “I still love you and I know everything was completely messed up before, but everything’s fine now, so will you go to the wedding with me? Unless there’s someone else,” he adds nervously, looking around. “There’s no one else,” Blaine assures him, and grabs Kurt with both hands and kisses him, and this admittedly very sweet moment would be so much sweeter if it hadn’t all been orchestrated by Sue in that abomination of an episode of a few weeks back. But anyway, let’s just “aww” in unison as they kiss and embrace and be utterly adorable together.

In the McKinley auditorium, Tina has gathered her “best boys”—Puck (Mark Salling), Blaine and Artie—to announce that she plans to ask Mike to marry her. Puck confirms that she does, in fact, mean Mike Chang, and Artie attempts an Arnold impression: “Whatchoo talkin’ ‘bout, Tina?” (Just...don’t, Artie.) Tina has the ring and everything, but Artie tries to convince her that proposing to Mike is crazy. She argues that, “in this day and age,” it’s not crazy for a woman to propose to a man, but Artie and Puck remind her that she hasn’t dated Mike for years. But Blaine, newly reunited with his first love, thinks it’s romantic. With Brittany and Santana’s wedding coming up and two other “near weddings,” Tina is feeling lovelorn and has decided that letting Mike get away was the biggest mistake of her life. Artie asks how often the two even talk nowadays, and Tina says that they’ve been texting “a lot” since she started college. Oh, so she is still in school? Okay. “Mike is my best friend again, and he knows me better than anyone else,” she declares. Puck and Blaine are “Team Chang-Chang all the way,” and while Artie expresses doubt, he still supports Tina. They all hug, but Artie looks pensive.

Sue (Jane Lynch) is polishing trophies in her office when Santana walks in, apparently at Sue’s invitation. Santana is snarky and bitchy to her former coach, of course, and Sue says that she’s hurt by her former protege’s attitude. Weddings, Sue says, are the time to put differences aside—but Santana says that she wants to be surrounded by the people who love her and who she loves as well. “The only person you know how to love is yourself,” Santana says to the woman who cared for her sister with Down Syndrome and supported Coach Beiste through his transition. But ignoring all that (and apparently having recently watched the “Hurt Locker” episodes), Santana says that Sue is incapable of a selfless act, and warns that if Sue attends the wedding, she will be removed by security guards. Santana smirks and exits, and Sue looks sad, and Jane Lynch is a great enough actress that I actually feel a wee bit sorry for the principal.

At the barn, a table has been set up outside for gifts, and Puck is shaking a few of them. (Mark Salling, by the way, looks amazing in uniform.) Even though he was able to wheel himself into the barn earlier in the episode, Artie’s wheelchair is carried in by four people. A gorgeous lady walks up to Carole (Romy Rosemont) and introduces herself as Blaine’s mother, Pam Anderson (Gina Gershon, and I love the name Maxwell came up with for the character). Kurt and Blaine strike an "American Gothic" pose with a pitchfork, and everyone runs around and has fun in the pastoral setting. Inside the barn, Puck tells Mike (Harry Shum Jr.) that the Air Force is “a breeze,” and Tina joins them as both guys agree that she looks hot. Elsewhere, Burt Hummel (Mike O’Malley) goes over his notes for the ceremony with Carole. Blaine and Kurt join them and reminisce about the Hummel-Hudson wedding from years back. “Best day of my life!” Burt says as he kisses his wife—and I wonder how Kurt feels knowing that his dad places his second wedding day above his wedding to Kurt’s mom...or the day of Kurt’s birth. But anyway, Blaine and Kurt wonder about what their wedding might have been like, and agree that they were “young and foolish” to plan their wedding before they were both ready for it. “Are any of us ever really ready for anything?” Burt counters. Um, yes, actually, some people prepare for lots of things rather than rush in prematurely. But Carole agrees that throwing caution to the wind is a good thing, and says that she and her husband haven’t wasted a day since they’ve met, in spite of the mistakes each of them has made and the hardships they’ve all faced, from being widowed to facing illness and injury to losing Finn. “Man, officiating a wedding really puts you in a mood!” Burt says, and he and Carole begin talking over one another until Carole leads her husband away to get a drink. “I’m not drunk!” he calls over his shoulder, and Blaine and Kurt smile.

In Brittany’s dressing room, the bridesmaids are in pink and Brit-Brit herself is pacing anxiously, asking for a spider to put on her dress because she believes it’s good luck. She also wants to smash wine glasses as in Jewish tradition because Jews always have the best of luck (...?) and Rachel has to find a lizard to cross her path or she and Santana will end up like Jack and Rose. (I presume we’re talking about the ones from "Titanic" here, and not Jack and Rose Rabinowitz from New Paltz, who are doing just fine, thank you.) As soon as the bridesmaids are gone, Santana sneaks in to tell her fiancee how lovely she looks. Brittany, predictably, freaks. “A bride cannot see her bride before the ceremony!” she yells. “Why are you trying to sabotage this wedding?!” Santana puts her foot down and asks Brittany if she knows where the tradition of keeping a bride and groom separated before the wedding came from. “Cannibalism?” Brittany guesses, and I smile. But, no, Santana says that the tradition dates back to arranged marriages when families believed that if a couple met before they were legally bound to one another, they might bail on the ceremony. “That’s not us, okay?” And besides their commitment to one another, Santana says, she just can’t go an hour without seeing Brittany. “Rules don’t apply to us,” she says. “We make our own luck.” They kiss in the way that modesty prevents them from kissing in front of an altar—but the moment is ruined as Sue walks through the door. Gasp!

“You know what, Brit?” Santana fumes. “You actually might be right. We might actually have the worst luck of all-time, ’cause I can’t marry you if I’m in jail for killing this bitch.” Sue—who is wearing a formal black tracksuit—protests that she comes “bearing gifts,” but Santana refuses to hear it. “When you see the gift I’m bearing, you may change your tune,” Sue says, cool as cucumber, and she gestures toward the door. And in walks...Alma Lopez (Ivonne Coll), Santana’s homophobic grandmother. “Abuela?” Santana gasps, looking genuinely stunned. “What’s going on?” Sue says that she visited Abuela and used some “reverse Sue-ology” on her—and, in a flashback, we're on Alma’s doorstep, suggesting various methods of ruining their wedding: Stoning, as the Bible suggests (for men, not women); prison, like in Russia; or a “Westboro” approach with picketing. And somehow, apparently, that convinced Alma of the error of her ways. While she still doesn’t believe that women should marry, for the sake of her family she will put aside her religious convictions and support her granddaughter. Santana counters that she doesn’t share all of Alma’s values, either—but she wants her Abuela back. They embrace, and Brittany beams. “I always knew Sue was my good-luck charm!” she says, and everyone hugs.

In the main part of the barn, Sue interrupts Kurt and Blaine to tell the couple that there’s “a bit of a situation.” But the boys don’t fall for it (this time), and refuse to follow her into what they are sure is another one of her traps. “Don’t thank me for forcing you back into the arms of tiny Sal Mineo,” Sue demures. “I swear to you on Will Schuester’s future grave, this is a legitimate Brittan-emergency.” Okay, fine, she gets points for the funny portmanteau. She leads them into the dressing room, which is newly decorated with cardboard cutouts of Lima’s favorite gay couple. Understandably, the boys look a bit freaked out.

“Kurt, Blaine, the whole time I was planning this high-end barn wedding, all I could think about was you guys,” Brittany says, “and not because you remind me of the pig and the gay rat from Charlotte’s Web.” ...Okay, that made me laugh. “I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you guys! I looked up to you as a couple in high school. You showed me there was a place for me and Santana, too. You taught me to be brave, and when you called off your wedding, it just broke my heart because it felt like my dream had died. I want my dream back.” Blaine doesn’t get it, but Kurt does. “What Brittany is saying, Blaine,” Sue explains, “is that out of our love for your love, we have conspired to deceive and manipulate and, yes, imprison you briefly all to reach this moment. We have two tuxes. Do we have two grooms?” Kurt protests that this is crazy—he and Blaine just got back together, and besides, Santana would never let them crash her wedding. But Santana says that she is “a lot like 'The Godfather' on a wedding day,” and that she couldn’t deny her bride a wish. “All you have to do is say yes,” she tells her friends. “We don’t even have rings!” Blaine says, but Sue holds up her pinkies to show off two matching men’s wedding bands. Heh. “Will you give America what at least 52 percent of it will legally tolerate?” Sue asks. Kurt laughs nervously and demures that this is crazy, but when he looks over at Blaine for confirmation that they can’t get married today, Blaine looks less convinced and begins babbling. “What Burt and Carole were talking about earlier, and these last few months without you have been really—I love you Kurt. I mean, I love you. I do. This is crazy, and...I don’t know! But…” Kurt looks stunned as Blaine takes his hands. “But? But what?” I guess we’ll find out after the commercial break. Everyone go get some rice to throw.

And we’re back! Mercedes sings a gorgeous, soulful cover of “At Last,” and I just want this version of the song on endless repeat, because if anyone can hold a candle to Etta James’ version, it’s Amber Riley. Artie joins in as Kurt, now sporting a black suit instead of the white jacket he was wearing earlier, appears at the barn door with Brittany, who he escorts down the aisle. Um, where’s her dad? Isn’t this his usual job during a wedding? Blaine and Santana follow and everybody looks shocked, except for Coach Beiste (Dot-Marie Jones), who smiles and nods encouragingly. Everyone else gradually smiles as they realize what’s happening, and as the song ends, Whitney says that Pierce Pierce is in the bathroom and “missed the whole aisle thing.” So the wedding just went on without him rather than holding up for five minutes? Nice. Cheers to celebrating family. Burt steps up to begin the service and whispers to Kurt that he (Kurt) is not to say a word, “because I am barely keeping it together.” He then begins. “Twice in my life, I have been lucky enough to meet the love of my life.” (Um…) “And both of those times, I have married that love.” He feels lucky to have been able to do that, especially since everyone at the wedding had to cross state lines to attend this ceremony. He thanks the two couples for being “so brave and honest” and for showing everybody that love and marriage are “so much bigger” than they thought it could be. “Love and marriage is when two people say to one another ‘I love you because I love you, and I know this is gonna be one heck of a ride, but I don’t want to do it unless I can do it with you.’” They move on to the vows, and Pierce Pierce is still in the bathroom, but why hold up a wedding for the father of a bride? I get that this show is a comedy, but this is more mean than funny.

Anyway, Kurt takes Blaine’s hands and begins: “I’m a man who’s always lived in the shadows and everyone who’s come into my life has always tried to pull me out into the sun or push me back into the darkness.”

In a cross-cut, we see Santana making her vows to Brittany: “I’ve been bullied, outed and misunderstood.” (You’ve also bullied, outed and misunderstood lots of other people, Santana, so maybe a little less self-pity there?)

Blaine begins his vows to Kurt: “I honestly thought that I would never find real love”

Brittany, to Santana: “The world seemed so scary and confusing. It was just too fast. It made me feel dumb just because my brain worked differently” Back to Kurt: “And then you came along, and even if someone had told me that it wasn’t going to work out and that at the end of all of our struggling and all of our work it would just end in heartache—”

Blaine: “—I would have said ‘yes.’”

Santana: “A thousand times, yes.”

Brittany: “I would’ve suffered it all just for the tiniest chance to be up here marrying you.”

Kurt: “I’m a work in progress.”

Blaine: “I’m a work in progress.”

Santana: “I’m a work in progress.”

Brittany: “I’m a work in progress.”

Kurt: “You don’t ask me to come out of the shadows. You help me rip away anything that’s blocking the sun. It’s time for all of us to walk into the sunshine together forever. Is that something you want to do?”

Blaine: “I do.”

Santana: “I do.”

Brittany: “I do.”

Kurt: “I do.”

They all exchange rings, and someone is chopping onions in here. “And now by the power vested in me by the Internet and the state of Indiana and under a God who, for sure, if he believes in love, then he fully endorses the loving marriages of these two wonderful couples, I now pronounce you wife and wife, and husband and husband. You may kiss one another.” They do, and—as Artie promised two weeks ago—white doves are released and everyone applauds and cheers and Will (Matthew Morrison) is holding the brides’ bouquets. The two couples beam and hold hands.

Back from commercial! Oh, hey, there’s Pierce Pierce (Ken Jeong), tapping his glass for silence and not at all upset that he missed his daughter’s wedding. “I was just told that I was expected to stand up and give a toaster, but I just called Target and they’re closed, so instead I’d just like to say a few words,” he says, and ugh, Ken Jeong is so much better than this material. He praises his daughter and daughter-in-law, and tells her how pretty she looks in her gown even though she is, for some reason, wearing cowboy boots with it now. (Santana has also changed into the sharp pantsuit she had tried on earlier.) “You’re the prettiest one here...by a long shot. I mean, if you look at the other girls here, there’s really no contest. Some of them are just downright homely. You know what I’m talking about!” he adds, pointing to someone up in the rafters. Whitney runs over and shuts him up, reminding him that “no one is uglier than you without your clothes on,” and we’ve all seen "The Hangover," so...um, anyway. He finishes his speech by reminding everyone to be careful of the candles, since they’re in a barn surrounded by hay and dry wood. Maybe he’s not so dumb, after all. Santana stands up to tell everyone to put on baseball caps with “OTP” emblazoned on them—short for “One True Pairing.” The Old and New New Directions run onto the dance floor as Artie sings Outkast’s “Hey Ya!” and there are 15 minutes left in the episode and this is only the second song. Sigh. Brittany’s dress is now a short little number that is much easier to dance in, but Santana remains seated at her table (along with Kurt and Blaine at theirs—and how much quick rearranging did their last-minute nuptials require for the seating charts? Anyway…)

In a side room, Tina is fixing her hair as Mike walks in, asking her for at least one dance. She asks him if she can ask him something, though, and as he sits she sneaks the ring box behind her back. Tina says that she has only grown to love him more since their breakup, and that she wants to spend every day of her life with him. She then gets down on one knee and opens the box: “Michael Robert Chang, Jr., will you marry me?” She begins babbling nervously that she understands if he’s freaked out and that they can wait until they finish college...but Mike cuts her off to tell her, gently, that he can’t marry her. Immediately, she freaks. “What kind of idiot does this?” she wails. “You, but you’re not an idiot,” he says, not unkindly. Calling her “smart, funny and sexy,” he reminds her that they have their whole lives ahead of them, and that they don’t know where they’ll be in a year. Oh, my God, finally! Someone who isn’t obsessed with tying the knot before turning 21! It’s a miracle! Mike proposes that they go out and dance, and Tina accepts, and they walk out together, and this is Harry Shum Jr.’s final appearance on the show, so farewell, you brilliant dancer. May we all see you hoofin’ on Broadway soon.

When they walk back out to the reception, Maribel begins singing the Pointer Sisters’ “I’m So Excited” with Carole, Whitney and Pam, and while no one responds with “I’m...so...scared!” she does get the erstwhile McKinley High Troubletone girl-group back up to dance while she sings. And hey, there’s Sugar Motta (Vanessa Lengies), who hasn’t been seen or mentioned since the end of Season Four. Apparently, she just showed up for this dance. Anyway, the dance is cute and it’s fun to see who can actually sing and dance and who can...perform with great enthusiasm.

After commercial, Kurt and Blaine, still getting used to calling each other “husbands,” thank all their friends, and especially Brittany and Santana, for showing them that “real love is worth waiting for.” Which is why they’re all getting married at 20. Moving on. They invite all the couples to dance, and sing “Our Day Will Come" by Ruby & The Romantics. Sugar dances with herself, and after seeing Burt and Carole smile and nod, Rachel leads Sam onto the dance floor. Puck dances with a rather drunk Pam Anderson (and Gina Gershon, as ever, is equal parts hot and hilarious), Sue and Coach Beiste dance together, and Maribel dances with her mom.

In the McKinley choir room the next day (or several days later, since Artie mentions that he wants to relive their Tuesday lunches and I doubt the wedding was held on a Monday), Tina and Artie meet up for lunch. Tina admits that she’s jealous of all the fun, exciting things happening to her friends who are not getting the college education they’ll need to succeed in life. “Look at Kurt and Blaine and how spontaneous they were and how everything just worked out!” she says. I dunno, Tina, look at Britney Spears and her 72-hour marriage. Spontaneity isn’t always the best path. Just saying. Artie acknowledges that being single can suck, but people shouldn’t force relationships just to avoid loneliness. Still, they decide to make one of those stupid plot-contrivance pacts that if they’re not married by 30, they’ll settle for one another. Which, you know, is a great way to go through married life: “I couldn’t find anyone I liked before this arbitrary date, so you’ll do.” What an ego boost. Anyway. The scene ends as they debate “Tartie” or “Artina” as their portmanteau.

In the auditorium, the recently wedded couples look around for Sue, who emerges on the stage as dramatic lights come on. (Who is hiding in the tech booth to turn those lights on? Seriously…) “If it isn’t my gender-gentle Ander-Hummels and the autistically feisty Lo-Pierces.” Which...what? I’m not sure I even get that, but whatever, we’ve got two minutes left, so let’s push through this. She announces that she has gifts for her “legacy couples” and quickly adds that the gifts are not songs or minority choirs. As the couples accept envelopes from the principal, she says that in spite of her previous abuses, she sees them all as her own kids. Her gifts are, apparently, the couples’ honeymoons. She has taken the liberty of canceling Kurt and Blaine’s already-planned trip—and how is it that the boys’ trip was already set but the two brides, who had presumably been planning their wedding for months, didn’t have one of their own? Anyway, she is sending Kurt and Blaine on a weekend trip to Provincetown (nice reminder of the earlier episode, even if Becky didn’t wind up officiating), and they will be staying in Andrew Sullivan’s cabana house. “Andrew’s an old friend of mine. Or used to be. We’re not speaking now. It’s a long story.” The girls, meanwhile, are getting a month-long, all-expense-paid trip to the Atlantis resort in the Bahamas—where, Brittany gasps, Wonder Woman was born. Lassos of truth will be included, Sue adds, and they all hug. So...Kurt and Blaine get a weekend trip while Brittany and Santana get a month? Nice. Way to not show preference for one couple over another. Sue wanders off, wondering who she’ll force together next (Puck and Mercedes? Rachel and Quinn?), and the two couples head out realizing that they all share anniversaries now, and they will celebrate together every year...or every fifth year...or at least have Skype sessions. Next week: Child Star!

*

Episode 6.8: A Wedding

Guest Stars:

Gloria Estefan as Maribel Lopez

Ken Jeong as Pierce Pierce

Jennifer Coolidge as Whitney Pierce

Gina Gershon as Pam Anderson

Mike O'Malley as Burt Hummel

Romy Rosemont as Carole Hudson-Hummel

Harry Hamlin as Walter

Ivonne Coll as Alma Lopez

Songs:

"At Last" by Glenn Miller (Kevin McHale and Amber Riley)

"Hey Ya!" by Outkast (Kevin McHale and the gang)

"I'm So Excited" by The Pointer Sisters (Gloria Estefan, Gina Gershon, Jennifer Coolidge and Romy Rosemont and The Troubletones)

"Our Day Will Come" by Ruby & The Romantics (Darren Criss, Heather Morris, Chris Colfer and Naya Rivera)