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ONSTAGE & BACKSTAGE: Talkin' Tony Noms

By Seth Rudetsky
22 May 2007

Orfeh
Orfeh

First of all, a problem with dating a guy who is raising a six-year-old daughter is that I have to have food for her in my apartment.

Instead of writing this column while munching on my fiber and flax seed-filled Uncle Sam's cereal, I'm about to eat a big fat bowl of Froot Loops because I bought her a jumbo size last Friday. You may ask, "Why buy a jumbo size when you know she's only staying over on the weekend?," and I may answer something couched in denial. But let it be known, I bought it hoping she would eat a quarter of it and leave the rest for me. Here's the deal, I don't even like Froot Loops, but if it's sitting in my kitchen and there are pretty colors on the outside of the box, I'm in.

Oh, wait! Just remembered I did an emergency midnight run to Fairway last week and bought myself Cinnamon Toast Crunch. I'm gonna ixnay the "Froot Loops" (the spelling of "froot" is whimsical… and mandatory because you can't put the word "fruit" in the title of your food if it only consists of sugar, circles of starchiness and food coloring) and have a delicious bowl of CTC. Oh yeah! That reminds me! Attention message boards: Please stop referencing shows by their acronyms! Who started that madness? In my day, when we wanted a sassy nickname for Phantom of the Opera we shortened it Phantom, and Fiddler on the Roof has always been called Fiddler from Zero Mostel's original production through my high school's critically acclaimed production to the Topol revival in the late eighties. Who changed the rules? I'm not a World War Two trained code breaker who can figure out a panicked theatre board message entitled "New Carlotta fierce in POTO" or "Why no Jews in FOTR?" I've spent way too much time staring at the screen of Talkin' Broadway mumbling "P…what starts with P? Paint Your Wagon?"

All right, let's talk Tony nominations. Yes, I woke up and watched them on NY1. Do you watch the nominations and fantasize what it would feel like to have your name called? Do you tape it, erase the sound and dub in your name? In all categories? If you do, can you tell me the technology you use because the only part I've mastered is taping it?

There were some glaring omissions. Where was Kristin Chenoweth's nomination? She was so funny in The Apple Tree or should I say TAP?

It's kinda fun not having any total shoo-ins. Remember the year the Best Actress race was between Glenn Close and Rebecca Luker. I'm not saying that they were the frontrunners, I'm saying they were the only two nominated! And Glenn hosted. It would have been pretty awkward if she had lost. What if she had left in tears? "Ladies and Gentleman, for the remainder of the Tonys, the role usually played by Glenn Close will be played by…Karen Mason. The roles usually played by Karen Mason will be played by Mary Ann Lamb."

Speaking of the Tonys, I interviewed Orfeh for my Sirius radio show. I've been obsessed with her since Saturday Night Fever. She has one of the most unique voices on Broadway. So dark, yet crazily high with great riffs. I used to sub the piano part in the pit of Saturday Night Fever, and I was able to control the earphones I wore. I could choose what levels I wanted the piano, drums, brass, onstage vocals, etc. Suffice to say, during Orfeh's song I had the onstage vocals blasting, during "Night Fever" I opted for the trombone section.

Orfeh got nominated for playing Paulette in Legally Blonde and told me that initially she couldn't get an audition for the role. They searched for a Paulette for a long time, and Orfeh was in the very last group to go in.  Continued...

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