ONSTAGE & BACKSTAGE: The Game of Celebrity
By Seth Rudetsky
Ana Gasteyer
I'm writing this column after celebrating Father's Day with my boyfriend James and his six-year-old daughter Juli.
First I took them out to brunch. And by "brunch," I mean dinner since it took two hours to get our meal. But it didn't matter because it was delish and we got French toast on the side. Yum. Then we went bowling at Chelsea Piers, which was super fun. Juli essentially got the same score I did because she used bumpers in the lane. Have you seen them? They're literally walls that come up to prevent a child from having the bowling ball go in the gutter! When did bumpers come into existence? I never had that option at my signature bowling birthday parties circa '76, '77 and '78. I did, however, have a birthday cake with a fruit filling every year, even though I hate fruit in my desserts. I'm still angry I didn't just have delicious yellow cake with chocolate icing. But that's an angry confrontation I've yet to have with my mother (but plan on having one day in the "Mirror Has Two Faces" Barbra/Lauren Bacall-style).
Okay, on to Broadway. And by "Broadway," I mean Off-Broadway. I spent Monday at the York Theater Company doing NEO (which stands for New, Emerging, Outstanding). It's a yearly fundraising event for The York that features the work of NEO (see acronym explained) composing teams. I was asked to sing a funny song by Benj Pasek and Justin Paul about a guy who is po'd at his ex-boyfriend. It's called "In Short" and most verses end with a version of the lyric "In short…I hope you die." The audience ate up the bitterness. It was hosted by the talented composer Bobby Lopez (Avenue Q ) and the hi-larious and hi-belting Ann Harada. The last time I heard from Ann was when she sent me an email lauding my book, "The Q Guide to Broadway," yet begging me to let her copy edit my next one because her former proofreader sensibilities were up in arms from reading it. I wasn't offended at all because there are some crazy mistakes in the book, including a section on Rush Tickets that refers to them as "Tush" tickets.
So many great people performed, including the amazing Lynne Wintersteller. I have always been obsessed with her voice on the Closer Than Ever CD ("Life Story" is gorgeous), but until I did a reading with her last year, I never knew that she's also fun-nee. Where is her Broadway starring vehicle? I was saying backstage that there should be more shows for women over 40. Is there only Mamma Mia! and Menopause, The Musical ? Why is that all there is? And, why must they only start with the letter M?
I hung out backstage with post-Elphaba, Ana Gasteyer. We have had some hilarious times together. Once, for my birthday, I thought it would be nice to have a low-key party and spend the night with my close friends playing my fave game, Celebrity. I wanted around 15 people at my Celebrity party, and I was miffed by Ana acting odd during the phone call when I invited her. A week later, I called to confirm whether she was coming or not and to tell her the version of Celebrity that I play. There was an awkward pause, then the question "Celebrity is a game?"
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"Yes," I answered, finally realizing the weirdness from the last phone call. She literally thought I was having a birthday party and inviting only my "celebrity" friends! How shallow did she think I was! "Hi, Myron. I have known you since high school and I'd love to invite you to my party, but your lack of famous-ness prevents me. However, I left an open letter on the
Spring Awakening message board inviting any cast members to come. Mm-hm. No understudies. I'm sure they understand. After all, it's a 'Celebrity' party."
Another time, Ana and I were talking on the phone and she sounded down. I asked what was up, and she told me that her dad had just died. I screamed, "Oh no! How terrible!" She explained that she was especially upset because her cabaret act was the next day (!) and she was having trouble memorizing her words.Huh? Priorities, anybody? That seemed a little too show-biz obsessed . . . even for me. I assumed that maybe her dad had been sick for a while, and that's why she was able to move quickly from the death of a parent into the realm of difficulty of memorizing a Juice Newton medley. Finally, after some more strange comments from her and talk about getting a dog, I realized I had heard her totally wrong. She didn't say her dad died. She said her cat died! I was mortified. I finally told her what I thought she had said and admitted the silent judgments I was feeling about her as she lamented the difficulty of committing "Almost Over You" to memory. She was so annoyed because she had been silently praising me the whole conversation thinking, "Finally! Out of all my friends, Seth has had the only appropriate reaction to this news.(See: Oh no! How terrible!) PS, she would never do a Juice Newton medley. That was added for comic effect. More PS, how could anyone do a Juice Newton medley? What happens after "Break it to Me Gently"?
Thursday I interviewed theatre legend, Jonathan Tunick. He has orchestrated so many classic Broadway shows my head almost fell off. I asked him to describe what an orchestrator does. I thought he'd say that an orchestrator takes what the composer has written (usually for piano) and divides it up between the instruments of the orchestra. He did say that, but then he said that a good analogy is lighting. "If the music is the set, the orchestration is the lighting. It colors it, it gives it texture, it gives it shading, and it can express the unspoken . . . the subtext. It can tell you what the character is not saying but rather feeling or . . . maybe even unaware of." Well said! Continued...
