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ONSTAGE & BACKSTAGE: A Robe, Please, for the Ritz
By Seth Rudetsky
21 Aug 2007
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Xanadu's Mary Testa and Jackie Hoffman performed at the Chatterbox.
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| photo by Paul Kolnik | Let me get my costume ordeal, I mean "fitting," out of the way.
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Since The Ritz takes place in a 1970s bathhouse, I've been preparing myself for a skimpy costume. And by "preparing," I mean binge eating. Two weeks ago, I got the call for the fitting and even though the costumes are by William Ivey Long, the fittings were at a sassy place in the garment district run by a lovely woman named Jennifer Love. I asked her how many people meet her and make references to a.) Jennifer Love Hewitt and b.) Jennifer Convertibles. She said often to "a" and never to "b." What? Jennifer Convertible Sofas were a staple of my childhood commercial watching alongside ads for Mousetrap and Gnip Gnop. Anybody?
So, even though I was joking around, I was also preparing myself for the depression of being squeezed into a towel and parading about. I was, however, not prepared for the pleasant surprise of seeing a long, white bathrobe hanging on the costume rack. Ah! I thought, I'd feel comfortable wearing that on Broadway. I could show a little chest and, if the audience is lucky, a little gam.
Unfortunately, my fantasy was short-lived because I was suddenly asked to try on a pair of underwear. "To wear under the bathrobe?" I asked. Oh, these costume people are such purists, I thought Ñ even though my underwear wouldn't be seen, they wanted to make sure I had on a nice, tight pair. I was informed that the underwear might be worn under the bathrobe, or it might simply be worn. By itself. With nothing else. Isn't that against Equity rules? Subjecting an actor to love handle viewing by a general audience? I slowly stripped off my clothes a la Coco from "Fame" and put on said underwear. The "good" news is that I could fit all of my fat over the top and sides of the underwear. Excellent. Surely this is the worst part, I thought. Then ÑÊ Flash! That's right. Photos had to be taken Ñ front, side and back(fat), so that final decisions could be made on who in the cast should wear a towel, a bathrobe or just underwear. At least that's what I was told, but I know that those photos are going to be shown the next time there's a William Ivey Long game night. They'll be passed down a long line of costumers Ñ from a chortling Bob Crowley to a guffawing Willa Kim. Well, I guess it's my karma for my Streisand youtube clip.
This week I also had the pleasure of interviewing the two comic cut-ups from Xanadu, Mary Testa and Jackie Hoffman at the Chatterbox. They're laugh riots singularly, but together are a melting pot of hilarity. Mary talked about working with Bill Finn on the early Marvin Trilogy and walking home from Bill's apartment late at night. She and Alison Fraser would walk closely together because the West 80s in those days were not so safe. Around 1 AM, they passed by a hotel residence and an elderly man was having trouble working the door. Mary wanted to help but Alison warned her about the rough element in the neighborhood. Mary told Alison to calm down Ñ it was a very old man! She approached gingerly and helped the man with the door. She then asked if he wanted anything else. "Yeah," he growled, "Gimme some ____." Hmm Ñ how do I repeat this? Let me just say that he was interested in what Mrs. Lovett accuses Mrs. Mooney of "popping into pies." 'Nuff said.
Jackie talked about her first audition in New York. She went to an open call for Merrily We Roll Along and the casting director looked at her photo and said, " Ñ I don't think so, Jackie." Mary immediately said that should be the title of Jackie's next show at Joe's Pub. Brava.
Then Mary talked about being the swing for Barnum. She had to cover all the ensemble women and they all did circus tricks. She wasn't nervous going on for any of them, except Sophie Schwaab (who later went on to play Rosabella in The Most Happy Fella revival).
Sophie was a world champion twirler Ñ and suffice it to say, Mary was not. One day Mary arrived at the theatre and was told she was on for Sophie. A hush fell over the theatre. Firstly, she had to wear a pink unitard. Please don't get any ideas, William Ivey Long. Secondly, she noticed that the backstage area was extra crowded. That's right. Word got out and crews from other shows flocked to the theatre to see what was gonna happen on that stage. Mary said that the big number was "Come Follow the Band" and normally Sophie was in front, leading a parade and doing trick after trick. Twirling three batons with one hand, throwing them up in the air, doing a cartwheel and catching them all, etc. Well, Mary knew she had to do something, she couldn't just stand there and sing, so she just twirled one baton at a time, threw it in the air and watched it land across the stage. But she made it look like an amazing trick, by pointing with a flourish to where it landed. As in, "I didn't catch it on purpose, instead, look how far I can throw it stage right!"
Jackie talked about being offered the final Hairspray reading (she played the female character track Ñ Prudy, the jailer, the gym teacher etc Ñ ). She loved the reading so much but felt she'd never get it on Broadway because her career refrain had been "I don't think so, Jackie." She finished doing the reading and, on her way out, told Marc Shaiman that she hoped Lea DeLaria had a great time playing it on Broadway. He assured her that she'd play it on Broadway, and, I do think so, Jackie, she did!
Continued...
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