By Seth Rudetsky
27 Nov 2007

Rosie Perez in the Ritz dress the way it should look.

Happy post-Thanksgiving! Who acted out with food? I did!

I went to my Mom's house with my boyfriend, his mother, daughter, and my sister Beth and friend Tim Cross. First of all, we made the wise choice of renting a car to go out there, so instead of a half-hour train ride, we had an hour-and-a-half car ride. That damn parade ruined everything...including my love of Broadway (more on that later). After we ate, we saw "Enchanted." My favorite part was the fact they put all of the Disney princesses in small roles. Jodi Benson (Ariel) was Patrick Dempsey's secretary, Paige O'Hara (Belle) was a soap actress and Judy Kuhn (Pocahontas) was a harried mother. I love when they do things like that...like giving Chita Rivera a cameo in "Chicago" and John Waters a feature in "Hairspray." Perhaps when they make the movie of The Ritz, I can strut across the screen and . . . oh, they made it already? Thirty years ago? Well… (said "Bewitched" Samantha Stevens-style).

I interviewed the talented Tony Award winner Victoria Clark (The Light in the Piazza) for my Sirius radio show. First of all, in real life she goes by Vicki, and apparently a lot of folks don't realize that it's short for Victoria. She teaches voice, and she said that students have come over for their first lesson, looked at her face, looked at the Tony Award sitting on her piano and said, "Hmm…I know your name is Vicki Clark, but you happen to look a lot like an actress named Victoria Clark. Weird." Hello!? The face is the same, the Tony Award is the same and the first syllable of the first name and the last name are the same, but that's simply not enough for people to assume the obvious. Let me reverse the expression to "When you don't assume, you make an a**out of you and Victoria."

She talked about understudying Faith Prince in Guys and Dolls and how she was called for a special rehearsal because she wasn't hitting Nathan Detroit's face exactly right with her handkerchief during "Sue Me." She snuck her parents into the rehearsal because she knew they would not believe the minutiae one has to worry about as an understudy if they didn't see it.

She was also the understudy for 11 parts in Sunday in the Park with George, and there was another understudy who was competitive and literally tried to sabotage her during an understudy run-thru. They were standing backstage, and suddenly the understudy told Vicki that it was their cue. Vicki said that it wasn't her entrance yet, and the other understudy said, 'Yes, it is!' and pushed her onstage! It was very "Showgirls"…without a staircase and/or horrifying lap dance.

She actually didn't want the role of Smitty in How to Succeed. . . because she had just given birth a month before and was getting two hours of sleep a night. Of course, she got the gig and the show had such a nice long run that her son was able to come see it! Unfortunately, it also ran long enough for him to learn how to talk. He was sitting in a box seat with his dad, and when Vicki began a scene with Matthew Broderick, she suddenly heard "Hi, Mommy!" The audience started laughing, but Vicki tried to stay in character. The scene continued and so did another "Hi-i-i-i-i-i, Mommy!" Finally, she heard the sound of a muffled "Hi, Mommy" as her son was obviously taken out of the box seats and spoken to sternly by his dad. The scene finished, her son came back and Vicki exited out the big double doors onstage. As she was walking out she heard, "Bye-e-e-e-e, Mommy." That's what I call a shout-out! (Anybody?)

We talked about her vocal technique, and she said that she never had a vocal problem throughout the whole run of The Light in the Piazza. Unfortunately, the show was so emotionally debilitating that she was having tons of physical problems, but the voice never gave out. I complimented her on the consistency of her accent. So many times I've heard actors have an accent when they do dialogue but then totally drop it when they sing (see: "Jim Nabors' Greatest Hits"). I love how in "Dividing Day" she sings, "Dashing as the day we met, only there is something..." and pronounces the word "only" "own-ly" like a southern belle. She said that the mother of one of her son's elementary school friends is from the South and Vicki had her record the entire script and lyrics into a tape recorder (three times!) so Vicki could copy her.

One of the reasons she had a hard time getting cast in Piazza is because people only knew her as a comic actress, and they didn't think she could do a dramatic part. Now she said it's the complete opposite, and casting agents nervously ask her agent if she can do comedy. Yay! It's fun having a whole body of work and only being remembered for your last job.

Her new CD, "Fifteen Seconds of Grace," was just released, and she's celebrating with a big, fat show Nov. 26 at The Kaplan Penthouse in Lincoln Center. I'm going to the late show, FYI, and more info is at her website, www.victoriaclarkonline.com.

By the way, speaking of "big, fat," that's the name of my radio show on Sirius ("Seth's Big Fat Broadway"). After The Ritz one night, an audience member approached one of the other patrons and asked what role I played. He said that I was the guy in the unitard during Act Two and the audience person was mind boggled. "Then why is his show called 'Seth's Big, Fat, Broadway'?"

What's the confusion? It's called "Seth's Big, Fat Broadway" not "I am big and fat on Broadway." Although, I do admit I am always complaining about my weight on the air. When I was on "Law & Order: CI," a midwestern woman (yet with a southern accent) called the Sirius message center and left me this message: "Seth, I saw you on 'Law & Order' … and you looked totally different than what I thought. From the way you talk, I thought you'd look like the lead from 'La Cage aux Folles'...the French version. Let me describe him: He's fat, he's got a big butt…he whistles, he whoops…and he's adorable. But, you! (here's where it got crazy)…you look like Hugh Jackman!" I guess anyone you expected to whistle, whoop and have a big butt and then doesn't, immediately looks like Hugh Jackman.

This week there was a theft at The Ritz! At the end of Act One, Rosie Perez (as Googie Gomez) does a big medley that's supposed to be a mess. At the end, she does a high kick, "accidentally" kicks off her shoe, then angrily throws it offstage. Well, the shoe didn't quite make it offstage and sat all the way stage right for the rest of the number. As Act One ended, there was a blackout for a couple of seconds and when the lights came up, the shoe was gone! It was very "Murder, She Wrote"… without a murder and/or four-time Tony Award winner. Continued...

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