By Seth Rudetsky
17 Dec 2007
Thursday I got to interview Barry Williams at the Chatterbox. He's doing a show called Growing up 70's and, because he had a 7 PM curtain, we only had a half-hour to talk. That didn't stop me from immediately launching into a "why, when, how" about the "Brady Bunch Variety Hour"? He said that Sid and Marty Kroft (Sigmund and the Sea Monsters? Witchipoo? Anybody?) wanted to do a "Donny and Marie" show with a pool instead of an ice skating rink. Let me say that they achieved the pool part. Barry said that they told him that since he and Florence Henderson were the only ones who could actually sing and dance, they would be heavily featured. It didn't quite turn out that way, which you'd know if you've seen one of the two DVDs available. Unfortunately, there's also Tony Randall reading (in rhythm) a poem by Dame Edith Sitwell. Said poem is read over a score by 20th-century composer, William Walton. Maureen McCormick sings a pathos-ridden "If I Could Save Time in a Bottle," and there's also a funky version of "Tangerine" sung by Ann B. Davis and Rip Taylor dressed as giant ducks. And, much, much horribly more. Around a year before the variety hour, Florence Henderson called Barry and told him that she heard that they were looking for a Pippin for the national tour. He flew to New York and saw the show and was blown away. He grew up in California, and the only musicals he saw were very old school, so he was shocked and delighted at how hot the sex scenes were in Pippin. Thinking back, I realized that Greg was pretty tame on "The Brady Bunch," and probably Barry had been yearning to play the kind of over-the-top sexuality he witnessed between Alice and Sam the butcher. He said that he auditioned with the song "Corner of the Sky" and had learned the little bit of choreography that happened during the chorus. On "Rivers belong where they can ramble," you're supposed to move your hands like a winding river, and during "eagles belong where they can fly," Pippin spreads his arms like a soaring bird. After he sang, Barry said that Fosse came down the aisle and gave him the best direction he ever got. Fosse approached him wearing his signature black shirt with the sleeves rolled up and a cigarette dangling from his lips and said, "Nice job, kid, but you're giving me a Cessna. Give me a 747." Barry got the gig, loved doing it, but left the show because he got what was supposed to be a great job offer. That job was "The Brady Bunch Variety Hour."
This week I also went to see the Actors Fund performance of Mary Poppins. First of all, the set is amazing…but that didn't stop me from refusing to clap along with the audience when the house was revealed. Here's my rule: I refuse to clap for anything that can't acknowledge my applause. FYI, I thought Ashley Brown was fantastic. She was super funny and sounded great. She literally ended one song on a crazy high D! I'm estimating that was the note because the only way I could test it was by trying to sing it quietly in my seat (I have a crazy high falsetto) and usually if I can hit it, it's a C, if I can squeak it it's a C sharp, and it's a D if it causes Mariah Carey-style vocal damage. Ashley also did some sassy dancing throughout the show. It was so great to see a leading lady act, sing and dance. Hmm…perhaps that's the role Matthew Morrison has been waiting for.
Finally, Saturday night I did lots of holiday parties. First James, his daughter Juli and I ran down to Don't Tell Mama to meet my L.A. friends, Steve Rabiner and Marco Pennette. I first met Marco when I was playing for "The Jerry Lewis Telethon" for his friend Tia Riebling, who was playing Rizzo in the nineties revival of Grease! He had just created the show "Caroline in the City," and he wound up hiring me to write a song for David Hyde Pierce who played an IRS employee who auditions for Cats. Now, Marco is the show runner for "Ugly Betty," and he told me that he loved working with Scott Wittman and Marc Shaiman on the musical episode. How dare he replace my composing skills with that of a team of multiple Tony and Oscar winners!
Then James, Juli and I dashed up to the West 60's to go to the holiday party of my old comedy partner, Maria Bostick. We did a show in the mid-nineties called "Dial M for Marjorie" that I fantasize about doing again one day. One of my favorite sections was when she's auditioning for the musical version of "Lolita" called Oh, Lo.
MARJORIE: Yes, I am.
AUDITIONER: Can you operate a tractor trailer?
MARJORIE: Yes, I can.
Then, we got Juli a babysitter and hightailed it to Brooklyn to visit my agent, Richard Fisher. We got off the train with Chris Sieber and his partner, Kevin Burrows. Chris just got finished doing a seven-week workshop of Shrek. Seven-week workshop? Isn't that an oxymoron? That's like a three-hour first act! Ooh, speaking of Les Miz, I've got to see it again before it closes because I'm obsessed with Judy Kuhn.
Anyhoo, after Brooklyn, we hightailed all the way up to the Columbia area to visit our friends Michael Klimzak and Phil Fabry who are in town briefly because they've just started working at a brand-new musical theatre school in Korea. Michael is one of the funniest people I know and used to list "imitating my mother" under his special skills.
OK, this week is the always-exciting Gypsy of the Year Competition, and then we all head down to Texas for a week. Yes, I'm going to Texas. I'm sure I won't stick out like a Jewish sore thumb. I'll write next week's column from Houston, y'all!
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(Seth Rudetsky is the host of "Seth's Big Fat Broadway" on SIRIUS Satellite Radio and the author of "The Q Guide to Broadway." He has played piano in the orchestras of 15 Broadway musicals, and he can be contacted by visiting www.sethsbroadwaychatterbox.com. His first novel is titled "Broadway Nights.")
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