By Seth Rudetsky
17 Feb 2009

I saw Charles Busch's new show, The Third Story (directed by Carl Andress) and, as usual, he was brilliant. If you've never seen him live, you must see this show! Sitting next to me was Sarah Jessica Parker who I've known since we were kids performing in a kids club act called Beginnings, which was at a dessert club called "Something Different." It featured kids who were featured in Broadway shows (Evita, Peter Pan, Annie, etc…) and kids who could sing but never got a Broadway gig (me). I still remember the first day I showed up for rehearsal. Beginnings had been running for months, but they needed some new kids, and that's why I was cast. I got there, and all the kids knew each other, so I felt incredibly out of it. During a break, they all went out for pizza, and I remember Sarah turning around and coming over to invite me. AKA, I've loved her ever since! Anyway, we chatted before the show, and she told me that she and Matthew listen to me on Sirius/XM in their car all the time. I felt so famous. I immediately asked her if she'd do another musical on Broadway, and she said she would. I gave her the option of revival or original, and she chose original. People! I've done all the work for you, now write her a show! She not only acts and sings, but she can also dance up a storm. When I knew her she was a ballerina. I put up a clip of her singing from Annie on my website in the hopes that someone will see it and write a show for her. Get crackin'! (www.SethRudetsky.com)

This week I chatted with the talented Rita Moreno because she's about to open Little Tributes in L.A. This is the act she did in NY and San Francisco that got great reviews, and it will be her first time performing in L.A. in 25 years! Of course, I immediately asked her about the "revival" of "The Electric Company" on TV. I was one of those kids who thought "Sesame Street" was baby-ish but loved "The Electric Company." I needed to know the genesis of "Hey, you guys!" Rita said that there was a sketch where she was playing a milkman's assistant (Millie). They were delivering milk at 5 AM, and Rita was supposed to yell and wake up the neighborhood. She based her line reading (yell reading?) on how Lou Costello used to yell for Bud Abbott in the old Abbott and Costello movies (Hey Abbott!!!!). Suddenly, "Hey, you guys" became a catch phrase that she'd hear wherever she'd go. If she ran into me in the mid-70's first I would have yelled "Hey, you guys!" and then I would have sassed her with "I know you do!" to cover both her TV and film oeuvres. We talked about the genesis of The Ritz, and she confirmed the story I had heard. Rita used to do Googie Gomez at parties to make people laugh and one day, she was at a party at James Coco's house (I love the 70's of it all) and someone yelled, "Ritz! Do that crazy Puerto Rican you always do!" Terrence McNally was there and wrote a play for that character. Rita described Googie to me as a completely confident (not competent) performer who thinks she's a gift from the gods of theatre. At parties, Rita would do the player King speech from Hamlet, the Hiawatha poem (aka, "From the shores of Gitchigoomie") and then launch into "Everything's Comin' Up Roses." I uploaded a video of her singing it onto my website, and FYI, she sings it a step up from Merman's! Turns out, Googie's a high belter. A high, horrifying belter.

I also asked Rita about playing Norma Desmond in Sunset Boulevard (PS, she'll be singing Norma songs in her act.). She said the hardest thing about that show was not coming down the long, signature staircase, but getting up the staircase backstage in order to come down. It was murder on her knees, so her method of protecting her gams began by sitting on the bottom step backstage. Then she'd shimmy up the stairs by pulling herself up, clutching the banister. How hilarious would it have been if the curtain had somehow gone up to reveal what was happening backstage and everyone saw the great, glamorous Norma Desmond pulling herself up the stairs on her butt. "I am big…but the stairs are bigger." Speaking of which, Rita got so muscular that the costumers had to let out her costumes because her back grew so big! Hmph. That's like those people at the gym who say to me, "I can't do this exercise or else my calves (thighs, chest, etc..) will grow way too muscular." I guess I feel bad for you. Regardless, her back has returned to it's usual sass, and her show is on Feb. 19 at the Conga Room at LA Live. Go to http://www.ticketmaster.com/Rita-Moreno-tickets/artist/756913 for tickets!

OK, everyone, Happy post-Valentine's day. PS, Betty Buckley got me a box of delicious truffles, which were gone in one day. Hmm…I think my costumes need to let out for tonight's show because my "back" got too big. Peace out.

(Seth Rudetsky is the host of "Seth's Big Fat Broadway" on SIRIUS Satellite Radio and the author of "The Q Guide to Broadway" and the novel "Broadway Nights." He has played piano in the orchestras of 15 Broadway musicals and hosts the BC/EFA benefit weekly interview show Seth's Broadway Chatterbox at Don't Tell Mama every Thursday at 6 PM. He can be contacted by visiting www.sethrudetsky.com.)