By Seth Rudetsky
18 May 2009
Wayman Wong, who produced the concert, asked me to do a deconstruction about leading men, so I did a bust on how the leading lady always gets the amazing songs and the male songs clank. First I compared "Everything's Coming Up Roses" to Herbie's section of "You'll Never Get Away From Me" (Rose I love you…but don't your chickens…"). Then I compared/contrasted Fanny Brice's "People" from Funny Girl with Nick Arnstein's "I Wanna Be Seen With You." Never heard of the song? Exactly. Then I gave in and said that some leading men get nice songs…for instance the leading man in Applause has a great one. I then played "Welcome to the Theater" and feigned shock when I discovered that the male voice I was touting was the smoky baritone of Lauren Bacall. Finally, I seriously said that there are some phenomenal songs for men and talked about the late, great David Carroll and his thrilling version of "Love Can't Happen" from Grand Hotel. I was incredibly moved the next day when Tom Viola, the head of BC/EFA, sent out a thank-you email to the performers and included this:
"On a brief personal note: It was amazing for me to hear so unexpectedly Seth's tape of David Carroll's extraordinary performance of "Love Can't Happen" from the Grand Hotel CD. As Seth said, David died of AIDS in 1992 at the recording session of the show, so sick and before he was able to pull his strength together to put down any tracks. In a tribute to him, the producers included this recording from a performance David gave the year before at Steve McGraw's (now the Triad on W. 72nd Street) as part of one of our early fundraising efforts, The BC/EFA Cabaret Series. (Note: Wikipedia has it wrong).
"I was there that night for the performance. David had been sick for a while, out of Grand Hotel for a few months and very uneasy at the time about people knowing his health status. If you were around then, you'll remember the fear and secrecy that surrounded so many. If you weren't, I don't think you can completely imagine it. And that's a good thing.
"David did the concert, in December, I think, wanting people to see and hear him, vital and alive. It was quite a night, playing out on many levels. But David got much sicker soon after. I think it turned out to be one of, if not his last public performance.
"So with David Carroll in mind, thanks for being a part of all this, so many years later when certainly the needs still exists but thankfully without the horror that walked next to us all when this all began.
"You were all delightful last night. You sang to and for the heavens."
If you've never heard that thrilling David Carroll recording, here's a link to me deconstructing it...the last note is stunning! http://sethrudetsky.com/blog/2009/04/08/deconstructing-surprise-high-notes/
On Wednesday night I did a fundraiser put together by Judy Gold for Juli's elementary school. Judy was, of course, hilarious. She did a bit about how much she hates the voice in her car's GPS machine, so she pitched the idea of her 83-year-old Jewish mother doing it: "OK…you're gonna turn right in 11 miles. Actually, you know what, turn left now. I wanna go by Florence Hirschman's house and see if she's still alive. I was never fond of her. OK, now….on your right is gonna be Smith's Ice Cream Store. Don't go in! They're anti-Semitic!"
The last act was the hilarious Robert Smigel playing Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. He busted me amazingly. "It was great to see Seth Rudetsky…which is code for 'Mario Cantone wasn't available.'" Then he busted my Sirius/XM radio show. "Satellite radio? My conch shell has more listeners!" Then, the line-up for the evening. "Judy Gold, Seth Rudetsky, Caroline Rhea. The hottest young comics…of 1994."
Speaking of Sirius/XM, my Wednesday live show had the amazing Hunter Foster, who was Drama Desk nominated for Lincoln Center's Happiness. We were reminiscing about Grease and the time his sister Sutton was playing Sandy and he was Roger and understudying Danny. I asked him if ever had to go on and do the drive-in make-out scene with his sister. First Hunter hauled out the ol' joke; "We're from the South, so it was no big deal," but then told us that one time the guy playing Danny was out and the producer, Barry Weissler, asked Hunter if he was willing to go on because Barry would call the papers. Hunter gave him a resounding no, and that boundary was never crossed. Then I asked him about his talented wife, Jen Cody, and he told us that she recently was gardening in their country house while brazenly standing in poison ivy. He warned her to move, but she defiantly told him that she wasn't allergic. Of course, she woke up the next day with her body so swollen that she literally couldn't open her eyes! At one point, she called her fellow Shrek cast mate, Haven Burton, and cried, "I just passed you on the street, and you didn't recognize me because I'm so disfigured!" Finally, the swelling went down, and all that was left were marks that looked like bruises on her face. That afternoon she got a call from her neighbor.
NEIGHBOR: Jen…are you OK?
JEN: Yeah.
NEIGHBOR: I mean…is there anything you need to tell me?
JEN: No.
NEIGHBOR: (in hushed tones) Do you need to me to call someone? Or do you need a place to stay?
That's right, not only did Hunter warn Jen about the poison ivy to no avail, but he's being paid back by people thinking he's a wife-beater.
Poison Ivy ain't the only thing affecting Shrek. I went to see it last week, and there were several people out due to allergies. But the understudies were all great (Haven, who normally plays Gingy, sounded great as Princess Fiona, and Ryan Duncan from Altar Boyz is making his Broadway debut and was fabulous as Donkey). I, of course, got to the theatre at the last minute, and as I entered the usher told me that I couldn't bring a doggy bag with food in it to my seat. Busted! I ran to the stage door, and as I entered, Chris Sieber was coming down the stairs in full make-up/costume. I wished him a good show and promptly told him to store my food during the show.
I've got lots of fun trips coming up because I'm doing my Deconstructing Broadway show all around the country and doing master classes (go to my website for details). First I'm going to Charlotte, NC, then Harrisburg, PA, and then San Francisco, CA. And by "San Francisco, California," I mean "Newark, California"… which is close by. That reminds me of when I was the conductor of Pageant and the hilarious David Drake who was playing Miss Deep South would say, "We're playing at the Blue Angel on 44th Street…right near a Broadway theatre." Let me end by saying DVR alert: Don't forget to tape the premiere of "Glee" this Tuesday on FOX. It stars Broadway's own Lea Michele and Matthew Morrison. And, come to my Sirius/XM Live on Broadway show this Wednesday with Rock of Ages' James Carpinello. Peace out!
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(Seth Rudetsky is the host of "Seth's Big Fat Broadway" on SIRIUS Satellite Radio and the author of "The Q Guide to Broadway" and the novel "Broadway Nights." He has played piano in the orchestras of 15 Broadway musicals and hosts the BC/EFA benefit weekly interview show Seth's Broadway Chatterbox at Don't Tell Mama every Thursday at 6 PM. He can be contacted by visiting www.sethrudetsky.com.)
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