ONSTAGE & BACKSTAGE: Tony! Tony! Tony!, Plus Hilty, Bebe and More

By Seth Rudetsky
15 Jun 2009

Seth on the red carpet in the TOO-LARGE shirt
Seth on the red carpet in the TOO-LARGE shirt
Photo by Aubrey Reuben

A week in the life of actor, musician and Chatterbox host Seth Rudetsky.

OK, let's discuss the Tonys. It was a day of triumphs and a day of devastation…and not just for Bret Michael's cranium.

Sunday morning I was still in Harrisburg, PA, where I had just done my show for three nights. I made sure I got up at 7 AM to catch my train back to NYC. The Broadway League offered me tickets to the dress rehearsal so I was planning on catching an 8 AM train that would get me in at 11:30, in time to watch the second half of rehearsal. At around 7:40 AM, I decided to check my ticket just to make sure the train was at 8 AM and not 8:03 or 8:04 and found out that it wasn't about what time the train wouldbe leaving, but instead what time the train did leave. 7:20 AM. I don't know how I got in my head that it was an 8AM train but I now know it's not fun to cry at 7:41 in the morning. Anyway, once I accepted I wouldn't be seeing the dress rehearsal because the next train would get me in after it ended, I moved on. Just like I "moved on" that I wasn't cast as the accompanist in Broadway's Master Class…AKA still devastated, 15 years later.

Speaking of tickets, I knew that Brian d'Arcy James' daughter, Grace (who goes to school with Juli) wouldn't be able to go to the Tony Awards so I asked the League to give her tickets to the dress rehearsal. Brian was so excited to tell Grace that she could come but apparently she was not interested. He explained that he would be featured in the opening number. Silence. Finally, though, she did agree to go…after he told her that Hair would be performing. Children are so adorable. And by "adorable," I mean unfortunately "not returnable."

There's more. Sirius/XM and the Broadway League sponsored a contest on my radio show where the winner was offered tickets to the Tony Awards dress rehearsal, the actual Tony Awards and the after-party. They also would get to "walk the red carpet" with me to the Tony Awards. Of course, for me, it ended there. I would not be allowed into the Tony Awards. I guess it was hard to find a seat for me to sit in because the Helen Hayes Theater is so small. Oh, wait…it was at Radio City Music Hall? Interesting. Anyhoo, we got a lot of entrants and Julie James, who programs the Sirius/XM Broadway channel told me that the winner listened to me all the time. Ah, I thought, it's always nice to meet fans of the show. So…my first sign that something was amiss was my phone call to her right before I met her. I wanted to tell her where I was and decided to haul out my "signature" expression from the radio show, thinking she'd get a kick out of hearing me on her cell phone. I called her and when she picked up, I said, "Is this the a-mahzing winner?" to which she replied, "Who is this?" Ouch. Oh, well, I reasoned, she's standing outside, I'm sure it was hard for her to hear me. Then I arrived and met her and her husband. Just as I knew he would, he asked if I minded taking a picture…you know how fans are. "Not at all!" I graciously responded and as I wondered whether I should stand on the right or left of the winner, I realized that I was being handed a camera. That's right…he literally wanted me to take a picture... of them. I thought, "Surely, I'll be in the second shot"… and I kept thinking that as they took the camera from me and put it securely away.

Now, backtracking, that afternoon I typically got ready the last minute and found I had nothing to wear to be on the red carpet. I grabbed the jacket and shoes that I wore in the Easter Bonnet Competition opening number (that they gave me to keep!) and the pants I got when Grease closed (the Vince Fontaine understudy wore them during "Hand Jive"). I didn't have a shirt ironed so I borrowed one of James' but it was way too big. I also couldn't find any hair product because it was still in my suitcase from Harrisburg and I had no time to shave. It didn't matter, I thought, because they told me that we had to be off the red carpet at 5:30 which I assumed meant that 5:30 was the time the real stars would start arriving and the paparazzi would start taking pics. I didn't care what I looked like walking down a red carpet surrounded by tech people setting up. Cut to, I set foot on the red carpet, and saw Brian d'Arcy James and Daniel Breaker in front of me. What the — ? That means that the real stars are here and so is the paparazzi! And I'm in a crazy outfit, I haven't shaved and my hair is a — CLICK! CLICK! That's right. Instead of being ignored by the paparazzi like I normally am, suddenly people are interested in taking my picture. I kept trying to explain that I didn't know I was supposed to look good and to please airbrush, but eventually just posed by pointing out my Easter Bonnet shoes which I thought were the best thing about my "look." Finally, I thought I should stop my negative thinking that the winner wasn't interested in meeting me and decided to give her a sincere, warm farewell…and as I turned toward her I discovered she had already left. That's right. She went in without saying goodbye. Oh well, it makes perfect sense that she was in a rush. The show was going to begin at 7 and it was already 5:20. Continued...