By Seth Rudetsky
25 Jan 2010

I'm very excited because my sister Nancy and her family are coming to visit me soon. We're going to see In the Heights as per usual (they for the third time, me for the ninth.) The sad news is that my sister's mother-in-law just passed away. But that hasn't stopped my sister Nancy's sass. After the funeral, Nancy and her husband Allan were receiving people at their house. Nancy was greeting people at the door to make them feel comfortable, and one guy walked in who has never been friendly to her. He looked at Nancy greeting him and wanted to make a hostile comment about her not looking sad. He got the rudeness of the line correct, but not the content, so he wound up saying, "Boy. That's a pretty big smile for someone who just died." Nancy calmly busted him under the guise of clarification with a friendly, "Actually, I didn't die. My mother-in-law did. But I'm sure Allan will be glad to see you." I'm completely obsessed.

I coached a lot this week, and I had a coachee who went to the Hair open call. She got there at 5:30 AM…and was number 400! It reminds me of the crazy open calls that used to happen for Rent. My friend Paul Castree went to one of the first ones and was shocked that so many people came who were not at all right for the show. He remembers that the line was crazily long, and standing right in back of him was a 67-year-old woman…with tap shoes. What choreography in that show features pull backs and wings?

I saw Roundabout Theatre Company's Present Laughter featuring a fabulously talented cast and starring Victor Garber. It also features the dry, amazing line-readings of Tony Award winner Harriet Harris. I was trying to remember when I first met her, and I realized it was during an early workshop of Thoroughly Modern Millie. I was the music director and she was Mrs. Meers. She was panicked about singing for the first time in a show. Cut to: She later won a Tony Award for the role! FYI, she was not the first Mrs. Meers, although she was the first female. That's right, when we did the initial reading, Mrs. Meers was played by Edward Hibbert! In drag. And, another FYI, Muzzie was played by Christine Ebersole. This was back in the mid-nineties and I remember Christine telling me she wanted to leave L.A. and come back to Broadway. Cut to; she now has two Tony Awards. And who's the person with zero Tony Awards? The narrator of this story. You know what they say: Those who can, win. Those who can't, narrate. And on that note, peace out!

Seth Rudetsky has played piano in the pits of many Broadway shows including Ragtime, Grease and The Phantom of the Opera. He was the artistic producer/conductor for the first five Actors Fund concerts including Dreamgirls and Hair, which were both recorded. As a performer, he appeared on Broadway in The Ritz and on TV in "All My Children," "Law and Order C.I." and on MTV's "Made" and "Legally Blonde: The Search for the Next Elle Woods." He has written the books "The Q Guide to Broadway" and "Broadway Nights," which was recorded as an audio book on Audible.com. He is currently the afternoon Broadway host on Sirius/XM radio and tours the country doing his comedy show, "Deconstructing Broadway." He can contacted at his website SethRudetsky.com, where he has posted many video deconstructions.