Let me begin by saying that over the first weekend of March, I'm going to the Watertower Theater in Dallas, TX, to do my Deconstructing show and an auditioning master class. You can get tickets and register for the class at sethrudetsky.com/blog/see-me-live. Ah. I'm focusing on warm, warm Texas because I am currently in transit to freezing Canada, and already it's a headache. First of all, it's a five-hour flight. Second of all, there's only one direct flight a day from New York. Before I continue, let me say I know that this is a "luxury problem." I feel a little like the woman in an article I love from The Onion that's entitled "My Personal Shopper Is The Worst." It has lines like La Perla bras?

Listen to Seth's Podcast: His Life on the D List

Completely off the mark. I told her I wanted sexy, not a bra for my grandmother. If that's her idea of sensuous lingerie, it's no wonder she can't keep a man committed to her.

Now, back to my problems. The one-flight-a-day to Calgary is at 7:45 AM…from Newark! Because it's international (Canada is supposedly another country), they told me to get there an hour-and-a-half early. That meant at 6:15 A.M. I flat out refused. Luckily, I got there by 6:35 but then found out that my five-hour flight doesn't serve food. Wonderful. I decided that I would therefore spend the whole flight sleeping since it was so crazily early and I had no meal to look forward to. Cut to I wasn't lucky enough to be in the delicious exit row with the extra leg room. I was directly in front of it, which meant that my seat doesn't lean back! Whoever heard of such a thing? My personal shopper is the worst! The "good news" is, Air Canada does offer the option of buying (overpriced) food. Not breakfast food, though, because I guess most people have already had a hearty breakfast by 7:45 in the morning. I finally decided to try sleeping, but the seats don't have that delicious stabilizing neck rest, so every five minutes I kept waking up because my neck was rolling around more than Jennifer Beals dancing to "Maniac."

Anyhoo, let me get more bad stuff out of the way so I can get to the fun. The worst thing that happened this week I pretty much blame on myself. I bought James a new pair of sneakers for Hanukkah because I was sick of him wearing dress shoes to the gym. As soon as he put them on, he commented on how slippery they were. I thought to myself, "Please don't return them, they look so great." Followed by, "But if he slips, I'll feel terribly guilty." Cut to the snowstorm we had on Tuesday. I shoveled our front steps but didn't put down any salt, partly because we ran out and partly because it's bad for the doggies. Well, James was wearing the sneakers I bought him, walking down the steps I shoveled, and he completely slipped, fell and dislocated his shoulder! It was horrible. After spending five hours in the ER and finally getting it maneuvered back in, he found out that he also broke a part of it when he fell. The good part is that our friend Lee Perlman got James an appointment with a great orthopedist, and he said it will probably heal without surgery. Poor James. Which is worse: walking around with your arm in a sling while hoping your shoulder heals properly, or your seat not leaning back? My personal shopper is the worst!

The super fun part of the week was… I filmed an episode of "Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D List!" I love that show so much. It was so cool to actually be on something I watch all the time. It reminds me of the time I first started subbing keyboards on Broadway. My first show was Les Miz, and it was so cool to be the one playing the stuff I heard on the CD all the time. But, let me clarify when I say I'm "going to be on the Kathy Griffin Show": I'm sure I'll be seen, but I can't guarantee it'll be for any longer than I was onstage in The Ritz. Here's the background: This season (which will begin airing over the summer) Kathy decides she wants to entertain at her mother's assisted-living facility. She knows she can't do her stand-up act because of her non-stop cursing, so she's decided she's going to sing a song from her mom's era. Kathy then realized she'd better learn how to sing. We met on Wednesday at Don't Tell Mama, and I taught her how to perform "You Made Me Love You" alongside the fabulous Kristin Chenoweth. And by "alongside" I mean with me completely in the background. Essentially, being on "My Life On The D-List" put me on the D-list. Seriously. At one point, I was literally like Lisa Kudrow in "The Comeback" when she tries desperately to edge up from her place in the back during a photo shoot. As Kathy and Kristin were chatting, I started chiming in comments from my seat at the piano. Of course, they were both in the middle of the room, so I had to stand to get nearer to them. I was then asked immediately by the director not to get off the piano bench. Then, we took a break from filming, and a make-up artist ran up to Kristin and adjusted her face while another one flanked Kathy. I looked around and finally said, "Um…I seem to be the only person without anyone fixing my make-up." There was muttering into various headsets, and finally someone walked up to me. Not a make-up artist, mind you, but just literally a person. My make-up was then "adjusted." Not with a re-touch of powder, under-eye concealer or even some generic lip balm. No, the make-up artist (AKA crew member) simply blotted my face. Pat, pat, pat. Let me continue: Not with a brush, not with a make-up pad, but literally with a paper towel.