By Seth Rudetsky
22 Oct 2012
It's official! James and I got married last week and it was amazing. Before wedding details, I thought I'd give a little history first. James and I met almost six years ago after my long-term relationship had ended. Right after the break-up, I immediately joined every single dating site possible (Match.com, Jdate.com, OKcupid.com, DesperateAndAging.com, etc…). I had been off the dating market for ten years and planned on spending the next year making up for it. I couldn't wait to have non-stop dates with all different people and was elated when I got an email from DJ Salisbury (a sassy director and choreographer) who wrote that he had seen my dating profile on Match.com and recognized my name from "the business." He then invited me to a game night for singles! I love games so I immediately said yes. It was at a Chelsea restaurant and there were around eight other guys there. Frankly, I was interested in every single one and planned on asking them all out (see DesperateAndAging.com).
Meanwhile, James had just moved back to NYC from Texas with his recently adopted daughter. He was raising her as a single dad. Since it was Christmas time, his mom was visiting, and that allowed him to have a much-needed night out at a movie. Afterwards he stopped by the game night just as we started playing "Apples to Apples," a game where everyone has cards that contain lots of different random nouns, like "The First Day of School," "Madonna" or "The Cold War." Then one person who's the main player for that round puts down an adjective like "Ugly" or "Distressing" and everyone else puts down the card from their hand they think most describes that adjective. The main player then chooses one card he thinks is the most appropriate adjective. The adjective James put down was "important" and I chose the card from my hand that said "Israel." James looked through all the nouns in the pile and rejected mine. I immediately said, "Who's the anti-Semite that just joined the game?" Of course, that could have alienated him, but instead he laughed. Brava for getting my alienating sense of humor! After the game, he mentioned that he had a daughter and I recommended that they come on the rFamily Cruise for gay parents and their kids. Five days later, on New Year's Eve, I emailed him and asked if he had looked into the cruise. He wrote me back a really nice four-paragraph email, and since I was in a very "I'm-going-to-date-everybody" period, I asked him out. At that point, I just assumed he'd be one of the many, many people I'd bedating that year.
James and I had two more dates, and soon I was a combination of elated and devastated. Elated because I knew I found someone I wanted to be with forever and devastated because I never got my year of starring in The Best Little Whorehouse on the Upper West Side.Continued...