Hi from lovely Provincetown! I'm sitting on the porch of the beautiful Anchor Inn recuperating from my early morning torture otherwise known as boot camp. Literally 180 sit-ups with so-called "breaks" every minute or so to do burpees which are something horrific I shan't describe them a family column. The worst part is I was scoping out the rest of the people exercising and spotted someone in fairly bad shape. She was the slowest and the one most winded by everything. Let's say her name was "Colleen.
Well, every ten minutes or so the instructor would give me a shout-out which I appreciated... until I heard the full sentence. It was always "Good job, Seth... and Colleen!" Yes. It was a tip o' the hat to the two class losers! Everyone else got individual praise but we were lumped together with the subtext of, "Even though you both can't keep up at all, brava on your subpar attempt. A for effort!" I couldn't take it and finally I stormed up to the instructor and told her "FYI, I go to a trainer three days a week, and I do cardio the other three days! So I'm actually in good shape!" I forgot the rule that if you have to literally tell someone you're in good shape, it usually means you aren't.
This week began with the yearly New York Civil Liberties Union benefit I perform in called "Broadway Stands Up For Freedom." I have a calendar on my SethTV.com website with a tab called "See Me Live." It lists all my upcoming events and my interns keep it up to date. Well, on the day of the event, I checked to make sure it was listed and noticed that it had been added to calendar not as "Broadway Stands Up For Freedom" but as "Broadway Stands Up To Freedom." I thought it was so hilarious because that one word makes the cause of the event the complete opposite. I then used that mistake as the basis for my act that night; I spoke the audience about how everyone in the theatre supported freedom... but I then asked if there's such a thing as too much freedom. For example, should everyone be allowed to sing any Broadway song they wanted? I asked them to hold their answer until I did my deconstruction. I don't have a film of my performance, but to give you an example of a Broadway song in which the person perhaps shouldn't have had the freedom to record whatever he wanted, please watch my deconstruction of "Heaven On Their Minds" stat.
Speaking of SethTV, they say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Well, I've always known that Sarah Palin is obsessed with me "Single White Female"-style, but now she's pushed it and she's starting her own online subscription network! Two years after I began SethTV! Well, I checked out what she's offering on her site and basically she's stolen everything from me, but SethTV is still only $5 a month and her network is $9.95! The main difference is she can see Russia from her house and I have Audra McDonald in mine.
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