How the Feverish Imaginations of Jonathan Larson, Rusty Magee and Friends Birthed the Musical "Sacred Cows"

By Jonathon Collis
04 Mar 2013

Paul Scott Goodman and Bob Golden
Photo by Mary Ellen Mathews

As the music rises on the "Sacred Cows" pilot, a lone Angel documents the apocalypse: one morning, and without warning, God (sung by Larson) has destroyed the world, and as various grunged-out heroin-chic Angels gather, they ask for a cosmic redo. God, an outburst-prone rock diva a la Axl Rose, is so over the old world, but now he's bored, and agrees to the Angels' request — but this time, it's going to be different. Creating paradise from a bombed-out parking lot, God creates Adame (Magee), a modern, urban alpha-female with a taste for pop iconography.

Unfortunately for God and the Angels, Adame is a little too modern. Despite living in paradise, she frets in rap about how she can't talk to her girlfriends without a phone, let alone find a decent curry. Bored from the start, she wants to leave and find something to do — even bowling, rather than simply hang around and take it easy. To complicate things further, her sex drive is unstoppable: "I want some action and I DEMAND satisfaction."

Finally, Adame's complaints are too much, and while throwing a tantrum, God takes one of her ribs and creates Yves (Goodman), a naked hippie with a guitar affixed to his crotch. Unlike his counterpart, Yves is perfectly happy enjoying the quiet and strum out folk melodies and rhyming variations of "Yippie aye oh" into drippy love poems ("Yippee Aye-Oh Yippie Aye-Ay / Give me an order and I'll obey"). Adame is not amused, and resorts to increasingly drastic measures to woo her asexual mate and strip him of his instrument.