By Seth Rudetsky
14 Apr 2008

I wanted Matthew to tell me about one of his most embarrassing onstage moments. He said it was going to be a gross story and, with his signature dryness, asked the audience to "turn off their ear sets," which was a reference to the ear set that hearing impaired people can get on Broadway, as opposed to my talk show at Don't Tell Mama. I informed him that my Chatterbox wasn't a Broadway show, and he then asked, "Then why am I here?" As usual, hilarious. He said that while he was doing Biloxi Blues in California, he went out between shows and ate bad Mexican food. It was the scene where the sergeant character says he's going to look each one of the soldiers in the eye to find out who's gay. When he looked Matthew in the eye, Matthew said, "I'm gonna throw up" and promptly left the stage. He was woozy offstage, and when he finally realized that he'd better rejoin the cast, he heard them in the improving onstage with such brilliant lines as "The sergeant sure seems mad" (pause), "Yeah…do you think he'll be mad tomorrow?" (pause), "Could be…because he was mad today." Where were Britt and The Groundlings?

Since he can sing, I asked him why he didn't sing in "The Lion King" movie, and he said he tried! He went to the recording studio and sang through the songs three times and remembers each time being told very intensely to "Loosen up!" He was repeatedly asked with more and more fervor, "Why are you so uptight? Why?????" Needless to say, they didn't use his singing voice in the movie.

He was offered his first musical, How to Succeed, but asked the director, Des McAnuff, to come hear him sing at a voice lesson to make sure he could do it. Des gave him the thumbs up, but Matthew had another gig so he had to miss the first three days of rehearsal. He said that he showed up, and it seemed like the whole cast was ready to start performing that night. He said that musical theatre people are always completely prepared, whereas he said he was like, "So…where's the coffee?" He said that Megan Mullally, who played opposite him as Rosemary, was the most polished out of the cast. Her performance was brilliant from the first rehearsal they did together…and he was super-impressed by her singing. Actually, what he said was that her singing could "blast your head off," but he meant it in a positive way. I recalled that she got that part after being devastated by losing another big role…the lead in Busker Alley! That was the show that wound up never coming to Broadway because Tommy Tune broke his foot while it was still out of town. I love those stories about not getting something and than getting something better instead. I'm sure the fact that I didn't get the role of the pianist in Master Class lo those 15 years ago will lead to a better job. I'm patiently waiting. Still.

His then-soon-to-be wife, Sarah Jessica Parker, wound up playing the role for the end of the run, and I asked if it was weird playing opposite someone that you were involved with and he honestly said, "All anyone cares about is 'are you interfering with my laughs?'" Brava on the theatre shallowness! Speaking of which, I got an email from one of my favorite English professors whom I had at Oberlin. He wanted me to know that Brava is actually the feminine of "Bravo" and is not supposed to be used on a man. I had to explain that it's essentially a joke and I've appropriated that word to mean both "Brava" and "Bravo." I also have no shame using it as a noun like: "His singing was a total brava." I didn't mind explaining, but I was devastated that my writing is still being evaluated by my college professors! Isn't this like that dream people always have where they're suddenly back in college and they have a big exam? I thought I was free from that dreaded red ink, but it's still there, lurking. Every word I write is subject to his scrutinizing eye and well-worn copy of Strunk and White's "The Elements of Style."

Matthew talked about being in the original workshop of Parade as Leo Frank. After the workshop he heard the show was going to Toronto but never got any details about when he would begin. Then he got a letter from Hal Prince that had the essence of letting him go, but didn't say it. The key line was Even if this doesn't work out, I'd love to work with you again. He thought, "Huh…I think I'm fired." He would show the letter to Sarah and his friends and say, "I think I'm fired? Don't I seem fired to you?" He claims that he realized he wasn't doing it once the show opened on Broadway without him.

As for The Producers, Martin Short got the offer to do Leo Bloom before Matthew, but Martin didn't want to leave his family in L.A. Then Matthew started reading that he was about to be asked to play the role, but no one actually asked him. Finally, he had a meeting for a movie that Mel Brooks was going to act in and at the end of the meeting, Mel asked Matthew to play Leo. Matthew had a meeting later that week and read through the script with Mel as Glenn Kelly played the score. Matthew said he really wanted the part, so "I was acting my heart out — which is a teeny bit more than when I'm not doing anything." As usual, dry.

All right, people...this is a busy week. Right after Broadway 101, I go into rehearsal for a reading of The Road to Quatar (www.roadtoqatar.com). This is a musical that's actually a true story about a lyricist (Stephen Cole) and a composer (David Krane) who got hired by a mega-wealthy Arabian man to write a musical in Qatar! Meaning, these two "short, Jewish musical comedy writers" had to go to Qatar to write it…and suffice it to say, it didn't work out so well. But they did turn it into a musical. I'm playing the composer and, speaking of The Producers, Brad Oscar is playing the lyricist. It sounds like a Brava. That's right, you heard me, professor. And by "heard," I mean "read'." Hmm…maybe I can convince them to change it to The Road to Brava. Peace out!

*

(Seth Rudetsky is the host of "Seth's Big Fat Broadway" on SIRIUS Satellite Radio and the author of "The Q Guide to Broadway" and the novel "Broadway Nights." He has played piano in the orchestras of 15 Broadway musicals and hosts the BC/EFA benefit weekly interview show Seth's Broadway Chatterbox at Don't Tell Mama every Thursday at 6 PM. He can be contacted by visiting www.sethsbroadwaychatterbox.com.)

Matthew Broderick and Seth Rudetsky.
photo by Christie Ford

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