ONSTAGE & BACKSTAGE: We've Come Home — at Last

By Seth Rudetsky
26 Jan 2009

Seth Rudetsky in Whose Life is it Anyway?
Seth Rudetsky in Whose Life is it Anyway?

James, Juli and I are now officially ensconced in our new apartment.

We're completely unpacked, everything has its place, all the rooms are decorated and the place looks stunning. And, if you believe any of that, The Blonde in the Thunderbird is being revived. The real story is we're unpacked-ish, but nothing has a permanent place yet. Essentially, wherever it landed, it stayed. Our friend Ryan made us a beautiful bookshelf (we did Forever Plaid together, and he's a combination high tenor/master woodworker), and soon my Rosie Cruise compatriot, Michael Lee Scott, is gonna paint all the rooms. Michael is one of those genius painters who can either make your walls look beautiful with stunning color combinations, or can paint a scene on your wall that looks like it's real. I never understand how one person can have so many talents. Michael Lee is such a great performer (he played a hilarious Roxie in the Rosie Cruise production of Chicago), but he also can paint or build anything you want out of anything you want. Right now, he's creating a new look for the building that houses Rosie's Broadway Kids, and he's so creative that Rosie has nicknamed him after MacGyver; she calls him "Mc-Gay-ver." Look at his website and the amazing rooms he's painted: www.MichaelLeeScott.com.

This week I started audition coaching singers again at my apartment, which I had stopped because my old neighbor complained about any extraneous noise, including the sound of me and James "walking too loudly." Walking loudly? I tiptoed around that apartment. The only time I moved more quietly was when I was in 11th grade playing the lead in Whose Life is it Anyway? and was completely paralyzed in my hospital bed (see above picture). PS, that picture was recently sent to me by Peter Flynn (who's the artistic director of The Hangar Theater) because his chief architect's sister-in-law went to high school with me. Peter's note was: "If Whose Life Is It Anyway is a searing drama, why the crazy, happy smile?" After sending it to my sister Nancy, her note was: "I love the Mackenzie Phillips hairstyle…and matching make-up."

Anyhoo, I've been sort of walking on eggshells in the new apartment waiting for the shoe to drop. So, after I coached someone for the new Michael John LaChiusa musical version of Giant I got a call on my cell phone.

VOICE: (Very direct) Seth Rudetsky?
ME: (nervous) Yes?
VOICE: (declarative) This is your landlord.
ME: (terrified) Hi…
VOICE: I understand you have three people living with you.
ME: (wondering if that's against my lease. Do we have to send Juli to boarding school? ) Um…sort of…
VOICE: (more direct) I don't know if you were informed…
ME: (thinking I literally have to move back in with my mother) Yes???
VOICE: …I'm buying you a larger refrigerator.
ME: (having just voided) Thank you!

This week began with a private party at Don't Tell Mama. A father and son who listen to me on Sirius/XM asked me if I'd do my comedy show at a birthday party and, like Liza, I said, "Yes!" The dad's name is Lee Perlman, and he hired me to do my show but also donated money to BC/EFA. Plus, none of the kids were allowed to bring gifts, they could only bring checks to BC/EFA. How great is that? I did my "Deconstructing" show and turns out, I'm a hit with 18-year-olds! They got all of my jokes, and they also loved Marty Thomas, who was the opening act. Marty (who recently won the Broadway Beauty Pageant) is a fantastic singer, and before he sang I asked him if anything had ever gone wrong while he was in the ensemble of Wicked. Turns out, he was there the first time the cherry picker didn't work. That's the thing that lifts Elphaba in the air during the last chorus of "Defying Gravity." Shoshana Bean was on, and when she realized she wasn't going to "fly," she got unlatched from the cherry picker and started walking from stage left to stage right, sassing the audience (á la "American Idol," according to Marty). The ensemble is supposed to rush on, singing, but they didn't know if they should. The stage managers were panicking, and the stage right stage manager told the ensemble to sing from backstage, but the stage left one told them to go out! So, the audience saw one group rushing out singing, "Look at her, she's wicked," but from only one side of the stage. The singers onstage realized that it didn't look like Shoshana was flying above them, so they all decided to crouch down to make it appear that she was towering over them (PS, she's like 5'4"). Finally, Shoshana did her signature sassy riff and the number, mercifully, ended. However, the cherry picker wasn't the only thing broken. The whole computer system of cues was not working, so right after Shoshana's amazing note, instead of having a full stage blackout, all the lights stayed on. And there was no curtain. Everyone onstage froze ….and froze…and finally awkwardly slunk offstage, in full lighting.

After I did my show, I brought the birthday boy up to the stage, who said he's going to major in theatre next year at Northwestern. I played two songs for him, and he sang great...and also was hilarious busting himself. He lamented the fact that he's considered an overweight character actor at age 18 (PS, he's not overweight!). He told us that at the Northwestern summer program he went to (Cherubs), everyone took turns standing in front of the other campers, who told them what roles they were right for. He was told by the other campers that he'd be "perfect" for Max Bialystock, Poombah... and Tevye. That's an average age of 49 and a collective weight of 600 lbs. What up?????

Tuesday night I performed at a show for Mary-Mitchell Campbell's organization called ASTEP (Artists Striving to End Poverty). Mary-Mitchell did the great orchestrations for the recent Company revival and created ASTEP, which uses the arts to help kids in poverty all over the world. Go to the website and see the great documentary my fellow The Ritz cast member, David Turner, made (asteponline.org)! Anyhoo, it was in celebration of the inauguration, and I decided to do some deconstructing in honor or Obama. His key word is "change," so I saluted the best kind of change in music…a key change! I played and deconstructed my three favorite key changes: The end of the Laurie Beechman "Star-to-be" section in Annie, the modulation in "I Will Always Love You" when Whitney Houston starts belting up a storm, and Lillias White singing the last section of "I Am Changing." Before I went on, I heard Kerry Butler singing the song she'll sing in the Marc Shaiman/Scott Wittman-penned Catch Me If You Can. The last I heard, the show was going out of town, and rumor had it that Norbert Leo Butz was playing the Tom Hanks part and Kerry was gonna play the main girlfriend. Kerry sounded great on her song…lamenting the Leonardo DiCaprio character leaving her. Kerry is so honest onstage and her emotions are so real, I was devastated at the end of the song. I can't wait to see it on Broadway!  Continued...