It's an age-old truism that pretty much every performer dreams of being reviewed in The New York Times. My last big review was for Rhapsody in Seth when it was playing at The Actors' Playhouse, and I've been itching to get one ever since. Well, people…this week I opened Betty Buckley's fabulous Broadway By Request show at Feinstein's and it got great reviews…including one from the Times (see later qualification). I knew I'd be mentioned in the reviews because the show begins with me coming onstage and "deconstructing" some hilarious video footage of Betty, and then I accompany her as she sings tons of songs from her various Broadway shows. Right after opening night, I was first name-dropping the "I don't read reviews" card, but within two minutes I Googled them all. The Times called me a "garrulous theater wag who serves as Betty's accompanist and comic foil." I was totally at peace…until my sister, Nancy, used an online dictionary. Turns out garrulous doesn't mean "chatty" as I thought it did. Nancy's email to me was:

Subj: Ouch
and the message was: Garrulous (adjective) — excessively talkative in a rambling, roundabout manner, esp. about trivial matters.

Son of a-! I thought my non-stop babbling was charming…or at least something you could chalk up to a chemical imbalance. Regardless, the show has been so much fun to do. I grew up listening to Betty belt "He Plays The Violin," and now I'm literally onstage, playing for her as she does it live! So, all you kids out there who are the same as I was at your age, just know that you may one day be playing for Kristin Chenoweth at Feinstein's as she sings "Popular"!

This week I had Cheyenne Jackson at my Sirius/XM Live on Broadway show (Wednesday at noon at the Times Square Information Center). He was talking about his recent guest appearance on "Life On Mars." He played a rock singer, but was forced to lip-synch to someone else's voice because they assumed that since he was on Broadway, he would only know how to sing like John Raitt. Did they not hear him rock out Xanadu? He also said that Harvey Keitel is fun to work with because he will suddenly improvise things in a scene. Cheyenne had super-long rocker hair in the episode, and at one point during the interrogation, Harvey grabbed Cheyenne's hair and put it next to a flame, threatening to burn it all off. Hmm…my idea of improv is more along the lines of . . .

It's not having my wig held up to a flame right after it's been hairsprayed, aka a brunette fire hazard. Note to Harvey Keitel: More Groundlings, less Firestarter.

Cheyenne told me that he and his partner Monty were on an elevator in the Wall Street area and some guy in a suit got on, looked at them and asked, "Are you guys brothers?" Cheyenne said, "We're partners." The guy looked confused and said, "Partners? What kind of business?" Monty winked and said, "Monkey business." Brava!

	Seth with The Story of My Life creators Brian Hill and Neil Bartram

Speaking of partners, I had Neil Bartram and Brian Hill on the Chatterbox. Throughout the nineties, I would set companies of Forever Plaid around the country. It would entail me flying to whatever city a new company was starting in, teaching the four guys (and the pianist) the score and then leaving right after opening night. Anyhoo, way back in 1993 I went to Toronto to set the show with an all-Canadian cast (except for my good friend Paul Castree, whom they brought up from New York). Brian was Frankie, and Neil was Sparky. Around a month into the run, Neil forgot all about the "never date anyone you're working with" rule and asked Brian out. They were the one exception to the rule, and they've been together for 16 years! So many hilarious stories happened during the run of that show. Here are two: Throughout the show, the Plaids wear white dinner jackets, and right before the end, they get a package delivered. They excitedly go backstage and emerge in beautiful Plaid jackets singing "Shangri-La." At one point in the number, they slowly open up their Plaid jackets and we see their names stitched inside. They look at each other's name and give each other a thumb's up. Anyway, one night, the Toronto Plaids got the package, ran backstage…and there were no jackets!!! The stage manager forgot to pre-set them, so they had nothing to strut onstage wearing. The song began and they didn't know what to do, so in a split second they decided to keep going and do their normal staging…even though they had no jackets. So, they emerged from backstage at the start of the number, doing a triumphant walk, but instead of beautiful Plaid jackets, they were wearing their regular button down shirts and no jackets. I'm sure the audience was like "What was in the box they were so excited about? Why are they walking triumphantly? Where did their white dinner jackets go? And in conclusion, what's happening?" Then they literally continued with the blocking of unbuttoning their jackets, opening them up and looking at the names inside...but since there were no jackets, they mimed it. Yet again the audience must have been like, "Why are they undoing fake buttons in the air in front of their shirts, why are they slowly opening their arms to the side and why are they looking at each others rib area and giving themselves a thumb's up? And in conclusion, is it possible to get a refund right before the end of a show?"

Part two: During "Matilda," the Calypso number, Neil (who played Sparky) would run into the audience in his sombrero, and if he saw someone else wearing a hat, he would put his sombrero on them and put on their hat. So, one night he ran into the audience, saw a woman with a hat and snatched it off. And with her hat, came her wig! Neil was mortified and quickly put the wig and hat back on the woman. Cut to, a few days later he found out that the woman was with business associates who didn't know she wore a wig and she was going to sue the producers and Neil! The crazier thing is that the producers offered her tickets to the Hal Prince production of Show Boat, and that was all if took for her to withdraw the case. If I remember correctly from my days of watching "L.A Law," most law students learn that a satisfying settlement is either property, money or seeing Elaine Stritch as Parthy.

The Story of My Life opens this week on Broadway starring Will Chase and Malcolm Gets. Go see it, and if you're be-wigged, avoid Neil.  Continued...