By Seth Rudetsky
21 Dec 2009

	Victor Garber at the "Nine" premiere
	photo by Aubrey Reuben

I harassed Ron from Geffen Records for tickets to the Dec. 15 red carpet premiere of "Nine"…and he got them for me! James and I went to the Ziegfeld for the 7:30 showing. We were nervous that we only got there 15 minutes early. Turns out, premieres don't begin 'til 45 minutes late. But it gave us delicious time for people watching. We saw Victor Garber and Donna Murphy and I went over to say hi.

Victor said he's having a great time rehearsing Present Laughter for the Roundabout and we reminisced about the last time we worked together. It was for the 1996 Easter Bonnet Grease! sketch. Grease! opened in 1994, ran for a few years and then closed. Then, magically, three months later, we re-opened! It was so bizarre to have a show close then re-open that I decided we had to make our sketch about that especially because the day we re-opened was also the Easter Bonnet Competition! I can't remember all the details of our sketch, but I remember that I dressed up as the producer. I walked onstage and signed a contract with Victor…who was dressed as his Damn Yankees devil. Right after I signed, the cast eerily appeared and said, "Poltergeist"-style, "We-re ba-a-a-a-ck.". Blackout.

Donna Murphy said she's getting ready to do a new animated film…as the voice of the villainess! Speaking of which, we just saw "The Princess and the Frog" and loved it! Anika Noni Rose sounds so great on the songs and I was freaking out to hear Jen Cody in a major role! She is the voice of Charlotte, a blonde, super-rich, spoiled Southern belle. I've always heard that when you audition for animated films, the people auditioning you have their backs turned so they don't know what you look like and now I know why! Jen is nothing like a blonde Southern belle but her voice for that character was PERFECT! As soon as she had her first scene I texted her to say she was amazing. My phone vibrated immediately after that and I quickly read her sweet note thanking me for taking the time to praise her. Hmm…let me re-phrase that. My phone vibrated and I read the note from her which said: "Stop texting and watch the damn movie!!!!!" Point taken.

James spent the whole time before "Nine" being obsessed with the hope of seeing Goldie Hawn because he loves her movies (we just re-watched "Foul Play"…scary!). At around 8, we had had it with sitting in our seats so we went to the lobby for a Pepsi and at that moment, Goldie Hawn walked in, looking great! She wasn't surrounded by a huge entourage, she just had a young, cute guy with her. As she walked by, James and I applauded and she winked at him. He was thrilled.

Before the film began, all the bigwigs got up and made a speech. Harvey Weinstein was very funny and said that people were worried that having all those great actresses in one film would make them all competitive and cat-fighty. He said that no one was a big diva…except Judi Dench. She was impossible. Then Rob Marshall got up and introduced all the stars. They each got up and waved and, director-style, he immediately asked the lighting man to hit them with a spotlight. They all looked stunning, especially Penelope Cruz in a red dress and we also noticed that Judi Dench had the most bodyguards around her. Wait a minute…Harvey wasn't joking?!?!?!

After watching the film, all I want to do is move to Italy…in the '60s. I'm now officially obsessed with the song "Be Italian." A while ago, I remember Andrea Burns telling me that she had an audition for the film to sing "Be Italian." I asked her if they were changing the look of the character because normally it's sung by someone very overweight. She said she assumed they were…then she paused and pointed to herself and said, "Wait…unless in Hollywood, this is very overweight." Shockingly, she wasn't far from the truth! The pop singer Fergie got the role and I read an article about what an ordeal it was for her to gain all that weight. What? Have you seen her in the film?!?!?? That's what she looks like after gaining weight? Tipping the scales at 90 pounds? Regardless, she sounds AMAZING on the song and I can't stop listening to it.

After the film, we debated going to the after-party (we have to get Juli out of the house to go to school by 7:30 AM) but we finally decided to go, if nothing else, to eat the delicious food. I know the kind of food that's at a Broadway opening and since Hollywood has more money, I was salivating at the thought of the non-stop buffet. Turns out, the non-stop buffet was a bunch of waiters walking by with, I'm not kidding…triangle points of grilled cheese. That was one of the most filling choices! Not half-sandwiches of grilled cheese, but take a half sandwich… and divide into 30 pieces. That's the L.A. food I filled up on. Now I know why it was such an ordeal for Fergie to gain all the weight…there's no food in California! And on that note, have a great holiday. Peace out!

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Seth has played piano in the pits of many Broadway shows including Ragtime, Grease and Phantom of the Opera. He was the artistic producer/conductor for the first five Actors Fund concerts including Dreamgirls (recorded on Nonesuch Records) and Hair (recorded on Ghostlight Records). As a performer, he appeared on Broadway in The Ritz and on TV in "All My Children," "Law and Order C.I." and on MTV's "Made" and "Legally Blonde: The Search for the Next Elle Woods." He's written the books "The Q Guide to Broadway" and "Broadway Nights," which was recorded as an audio book on Audible.com starring himself, Jonathan Groff, Andrea Martin and Kristin Chenoweth. He is currently the afternoon Broadway host on Sirius/XM radio and tours the country doing his comedy show, Deconstructing Broadway. He can contacted at his website SethRudetsky.com where he has MANY sassy video deconstructions.