Celebrity Autobiography: The Next Chapter promises new selections by Justin Bieber, "The Situation," Madonna, Tiger Woods, Susan Lucci, David Hasselhoff, Geraldo Rivera, Melissa Gilbert, Patti LuPone, Kenny Loggins, Destiny's Child, The Jonas Brothers, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Diana Ross, David Cassidy, Britney Spears, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Eminem and Vanna White.

Also promised are new mash-ups featuring words by "Cher, Barbra Streisand, Neil Sedaka, Dolly Parton, and Celine Dion all expressing their passion for food; Sylvester Stallone and Tommy Lee on working out and working 'it' out; LL Cool J, Miley Cyrus and Ricky Martin addressing who they 'really are'; Tallulah Bankhead, Kathleen Turner, and Ethel Merman sharing the secrets of 'diva-dom'; and Lauren Bacall and Carol Channing recreating the suspense of Tony night."

The Oct. 3 debut at 7 PM will include Cantone, Kane and Urie, as well as Rachel Dratch, Eugene Pack, Dayle Reyfel, Sherri Shepherd and Alan Zweibel.

For tickets, priced $35-$45, phone (212) 868-4444 or visit Smarttix.com.

The Triad Theater has a two-drink minimum and is a cash-only venue. The Triad is located in Manhattan at 158 West 72nd Street.