What's Your Damage? A Track-by-Track Breakdown of the Heathers: The Musical Cast Album

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11 Jul 2014

Ryan McCartan
Photo by Chad Batka

"Freeze Your Brain"

In "Freeze Your Brain," we're introduced to J.D., played by Disney Channel star Ryan McCartan, who proves to be a great singer and a charmer (not to mention handsome). This song provides tons of background on his character — we learn why J.D. has moved to a new school, why he is a bit socially "off," that he lost his mother and how he takes comfort in 7-Eleven stores and slurpees. We see a relationship between J.D. and Veronica brewing, and although we know he'd rather choose a frozen treat over "cocaine" (see 1:05), we realize that he's a bit sadistic. PS: Did you know that McCartan won the National High School Musical Theater Awards in 2011? He hosted the ceremony this year!

"Big Fun"

"Big Fun" is, of course, the big party song. The parents are away, the teens are raging, and "big fun" is in store. The cast sings about drinking, smoking, skinny-dipping, watching porn and having sex. This is an obvious choice for a house-party playlist!

"Dead Girl Walking"

Speaking of sex, after Veronica causes a scene with Heather Chandler, she realizes that she is a "Dead Girl Walking." Instead of sulking, she decides to go to J.D.'s house to have wild sex. The album is worth the purchase for this song alone. The catchy number is performed with ease by Barrett Wilbert Weed, who was deservedly nominated for Lucille Lortel and Drama Desk awards for her performance. Weed's voice is limitless and out of control (in the best way possible) — just wait until you get to the end of the number, when she belts out "Love this dead girl walking!" at 2:58. Plus, the lyrics here are amazing: "See, I decided I must ride you till I break you" (who would say no to that?), "Shut your mouth, and lose them tighty-whities!" (well, okay!) and "Let's go, you know the drill; I'm hot and pissed and on the pill. Bow down to the will of a dead girl walking!" (alright, already!!). You'll replay this number so many times, it will be embarrassing. Kudos, Barrett!

"The Me Inside of Me"

[SPOILER!] Veronica and J.D. have murdered Heather Chandler — the first of many, of course — and in this number, Veronica is penning Chandler's suicide letter. This one is funny because, although the duo get away with murder, Chandler is becoming a martyr in the eyes of Westerberg High students and teachers. With lyrics in her suicide note such as "My looks were just like prison bars; they've left me a myriad of scars," how could you not feel for Heather Chandler?


This song is about having blue balls. We applaud the writers for penning a song about blue balls, and the fact that the lyrics at the key change at 2:10 are "My balls are in your court" is genius. This song is filled with puns (played off successfully by Evan Todd as Kurt Kelly and Jon Eidson as Ram Sweeney). "My pants are rubbin' like a hot cheese grater" is one of our favorite one-liners from this song.

"Our Love Is God"

We're at the Act I finale, where J.D. is convincing Veronica (through this creepy melody and lyrics) that revenge is necessary. Suspense builds in this song, gunshots are fired and the act ends with dissonant harmonies! Ooh!


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