Okay, so theatre is all about turning off your TV's, leaving the couch and going out to see live humans on a stage. But theatre fans will have at least two significant TV projects to tape the weekend of May 17-19.

Broadway belters Bernadette Peters (The Goodbye Girl and Vanessa Williams (Kiss Of The Spider Woman) are on board for "The Odyssey," a two-day epic on NBC prime-time, May 18-19. Directed by Andrei Konchalovsky (filmdom's Runaway Train), the series adapts Homer's epic adventure poem, which features Peters as Circe and Williams as Calypso. Other famous actors include Geraldine Chaplin, Greta Scacchi, Armand Assante, Christopher Lee, Irene Papas, Eric Roberts and Isabella Rossellini. Check local listings for broacast times.

Fans of A Funny Thing Happened To The Forum won't want to miss the Home Box Office film, Weapons Of Mass Distraction [sic], which is scripted by Forum and City of Angels librettist Larry Gelbart. The satire, by the author of 1989's Mastergate, pits Gabriel Byrne against Ben Kingsley. The made-for cable film premieres May 17, 8 PM (EST).

For a whole confabulation of Broadway and Off-Broadway talent, New Yorkers can watch the Drama Desk Awards on New York-1 cable, starting at 9 PM (EST) on Sunday night, May 18. ceremony (see story).

Performing at the ceremony will be Robert Cuccioli (singing Jekyll & Hyde's "This Is The Moment"), Debra Monk (singing "Everybody's Girl" from Steel Pier), Bebe Neuwirth and Marcia Lewis dueting on "Class" (from Chicago), Jay Rogers and Stanley Bojarski offering "Torch Song #1" (from When Pigs Fly), and Michael McElroy performing Violet's "Let It Sing." --By David Lefkowitz