The answer: Meshuggah-Nuns!. That is the premise of Dan Goggin's latest entry in his long-running Nunsense series. Featuring book, music and lyrics by Goggin, Meshuggah-Nuns! will play the Helen Hayes Theatre Company Jan. 31-Feb. 15, 2004. According to a production release, "The Sisters of Hoboken take an all- expense paid trip on the 'Faith of All Nations' cruise. But when the ship’s entertainment, the cast of Fiddler on the Roof gets sick after a long storm at sea, the Captain recruits the Sisters to entertain the passengers. . . Hilarity ensues when the lone remaining healthy actor, Howard, joins the sisters to put on this original Fiddler revue."

The cast at the Nyack theatre will include Rachel Cohen as Sister Robert Anne, Carolyn Droscoski as Sister Hubert, Bonnie Lee as the Reverend Mother, Jeanne Tinker as Sister Amnesia and Michael J. Farina as Howard. Theatregoers can expect to hear such tunes as "Say It in Yiddish," "My Fat Is My Fortune" and "If I Were Catholic."

The Helen Hayes Theatre Company is located at 117 Main Street in Nyack, NY; call (845) 358-6333 for tickets. For more information, go to www.hhtco.org.