Here is Playbill On-Line's second annual survey of goofy titles of plays done on stage.

There were some truly bizarre titles in 1997. Special mention this year to the New York Fringe Festival, which proved to be a mother lode of odd monikers.

Here is a rundown of the oddest, as chosen by the staff of Playbill On-Line. As we did last year, we applied the following standard: Try to imagine yourself inviting a date to one of these, saying, "Honey, guess what? I've got tickets for us to see . . ."

The Travelling Cinderella's Dead Mother Show, at Mark Taper Forum in Los Angeles

O Little Town Of Bagels, Teacakes And Hamburger Buns, at AD Players, Houston, TX Demon Dominatrix of the Moon Meets the Amazon Queen of the Lost Lagoon, at True Brew Theatre, New Orleans

Praying for Sheetrock at Lifeline Theatre, Chicago

Butt Pirates of the Caribbean, at Luna Park, West Hollywood, CA

Dead Bolivians on a Raft, at Playwrights Theatre of NJ

A Clown, A Hammer, A Bomb, And God, at NY Fringe Festival

Dad Fought Hitler, the Bottle and Me, at Venue 9 in San Francisco

Bad Sex With Bud Kemp, at Second Stage in NY

Attack Of The Elvis Impersonators, at AMAS in NY

Blood Flood, at Chashama Experimental Theatre, NYC

Egg Yolk In A Pool Of Aqua Velva, at Ensemble Studio Theatre, NY

When Liberace Winks At Me!, at the Gardenia Restaurant in Hollywood, CA

What Remains of a Whore at Theatre Revelation, Hollywood, CA

Free Food & Frontal Nudity at Cable Car Theatre, San Francisco.

Kafka's Dick at Germinal Stage, Denver

Give the Man a Fish at Playwrights' Theatre of East Hampton, NY

Adult Child/Dead Child at The Why? Theatre, Chicago

Hymns for the Drowning at Playwrights Theatre, NJ

Cold, Frankin Sense And Brrr at AD Players, Houston

Six Women With Brain Death or Expiring Minds Want To Know at Forum Theatre, Thousand Oaks, CA

Bombs in the Ladies Room at 13th Tribe Theatre, Chicago

The Line That's Picked up 1000 Babes (And How It Can Work for You) Two Roads Theatre, L.A.

Vegetarian Carves the Bird at Tamarind Theatre in L.A.

Plastica Fantastica at Actors' Gang Theatre in Hollywood

Hell's Cuisinart at Scenic Wonders Productions, NY

The Bloody Melon Girl at Wooden-O in West L.A.

What Is Head Cheese? And Other Deli Stories at Nada in NY

A Long Swollen Journey Into Night" ( Episode Three of the Not-So-Marvelous Adventures of Swell Boy) at Theatre of Note, in Los Angeles

Still Life With Parrot and Monkey at Ask Theatre in L.A.

The Dismantling of Lemuel Pitkin at Actors' Gang Theatre L.A.

Bloody Orgy of the Bermuda Triangle Zombie Assassins at Seattle's Empty Space

Some Things You Need To Know Before the World Ends . . . A Final Evening With the Illuminati at Seattle's Empty Space

Wuthering! Heights! The! Musical! at Seattle's Empty Space

Crappie Talk at Group Repertory Theatre, L.A.

NWWYP (Never Whistle While You're Pissing) at The Group Theatre, Seattle

Blood Orgy on Hell Island. at Luna Park Theatre, L.A.

Alien Sex Cult Clones Madonna at Wings Theatre, NY

Fatty Arbuckle's Spook House Revue at Heliotrope Theatre, L.A.

Belgians In Heaven American Folklore Theatre, Fish Creek, WI

I Want To Be Pope! at Waterloo Bridge Theatre, NY

My Dick Done Broke at Ontological-Hysteric Theatre in New York

12 Steps To A More Dysfunctional Family NY Fringe Festival

The Hick, The Spic And The Chick at NY Fringe Festival

How To Get The Most Out Of Your Jet Lag (from The Netherlands) at NY Fringe Festival

Dog Spelled Backwards Is Krishna at NY Fringe Festival

La Vie Braindead at NY Fringe Festival

Mistress Elsa's Bondage Burlesque Emporium, NY Fringe Festival

Sex Toys And Subway Stories, NY Fringe Festival

Sex. Death. Tequila!, NY Fringe Festival

Bite On! at Arden Theatre Company, Philadelphia

-- Compiled by Robert Viagas and the Staff of Playbill On-Line