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[AUDIO-RIGHT] Yawn! I'm on an rFamily cruise to Greece and there is a seven-hour time difference between here and the good ol' U.S. of A. I posted on my Facebook wall that I was so exhausted from the time difference that I had to have a "lie down" in the middle of the afternoon like an old British dowager. Apparently it's not cool to complain about being on a luxurious cruise in the Mediterranean, because right underneath my post someone commented: "My personal shopper is the worst!" Brava callback to The Onion and a previous column of mine. But seriously, my personal shopper is the worst.
Anyhoo, we landed in Frankfurt at 5:30 AM and waited at the airport for our connecting flight to Venice. The last time I was in Frankfurt was the early '90s when I was the pianist for A Chorus Line. The cast was all dancers so that meant one thing: non-stop smoking. What was so wonderfully European about it was that the rehearsal rooms had no windows. Yay?
Anyhoo, now James, Juli and I are onboard the Norwegian Pearl and today we made our first stop: Corfu. My sister Nancy says it sounds like I'm saying tofu right after I had my wisdom teeth removed. It's one of the Ionian islands that's part of Greece and it's also where Prince Phillip was born. We went to a small family-run business that was the first soap-making factory in Greece and is now the last one around! They make it all in the back of their store with just olive oil and palm kernel oil. James and Juli loaded up on them but I only like Body Shop-style soap…AKA it has to smell like it's been soaked in a vat full of raspberry juice. Delicious.
Michael Lee Scott is the creative director of rFamily vacations but you might remember him from when he and Adrian Bailey backed-up Rosie O'Donnell the first time she hosted the Tony Awards. Besides being multi-talented, he always has a hilarious story to share. He told me that a while ago he went to a party and ran into a guy he knew from his midtown neighborhood. Now, for this story to have the full effect, you have to know that the guy was much older than Michael Lee and though Michael Lee thought he was nice, he found him very unattractive. The guy mentioned that he and he partner had been together for ten years and because the guy had a 1970s vibe, Michael Lee asked if they had an open relationship. It was just a passing comment meant to fill dead air. Well, after Michael Lee asked, the guy's face turned very apologetic. Michael Lee didn't know what was going on until the guy said, "An open releationship? No, we don't. I'm so sorry!" Michael Lee suddenly realized the guy thought Michael Lee had asked the question because he was interested in taking advantage of said open relationship!!!! Michael Lee didn't know how to tell him he was totally not, on any level, interested without appearing rude, so instead he had to spend ten minutes listening to guy keep saying with a pitying look "I'm so sorry. I feel really, really bad." Yay. It's fun to be rejected by someone you're not even interested in.
Mo told us that he was also obsessed with Cats when it came out and wrote everyone in the cast a fan letter. He remembers getting a cover of Time magazine and cutting it up so it was just a border and then putting Betty Buckley's face in the middle. He told us that he also remembers it was the first time he heard the word "stalking." He wound up never hearing back from Betty but he did get to speak to a member of the cast…-ish. He found himself a New York City phone book and looked up everyone's phone number and called them (!), but when he called the number for Cynthia Onrubia, it was actually her Mom's apartment. He began by telling her what a big fan he was of the show and that he wanted to know how Cynthia got to be where she was in her career. Turns out, they wound up having a long conversation on the phone! Brava Mrs. Onrubia!
My Playbill "Obsessed!" video this week features Carolee Carmello demonstrating her first audition song (she sounds amazing) and then she sings the big 11-o'clock number from Mamma Mia! but I make her add a crazily high-belted note at the end. Watch!
OK, I'm about to do my Deconstructing Broadway show for the cruise guests, so I need to prepare. And by "prepare," I mean hit one of the many food options onboard. So, let me end by saying "Ciao," which roughly translates to mean "I'm on my way to becoming morbidly obese."
(Seth Rudetsky has played piano in the pits of many Broadway shows including Ragtime, Grease and The Phantom of the Opera. He was the artistic producer/conductor for the first five Actors Fund concerts including Dreamgirls and Hair, which were both recorded. As a performer, he appeared on Broadway in The Ritz and on TV in "All My Children," "Law and Order C.I." and on MTV's "Made" and "Legally Blonde: The Search for the Next Elle Woods." He has written the books "The Q Guide to Broadway" and "Broadway Nights," which was recorded as an audio book on Audible.com. He is currently the afternoon Broadway host on Sirius/XM radio and tours the country doing his comedy show, "Deconstructing Broadway." He can be contacted at his website SethRudetsky.com, where he has posted many video deconstructions.)