I am writing this from Provincetown where I am finally not covered in sweat.
Yes, the Cape, which is known for staying cool no matter what happens on the rest of the East Coast, had a heat wave. My friend, who has lived here for years, said he's never experienced anything like it. The fun part is, this was the weekend I decided to take my mom with me. And, she's 79. The first horrible part was JetBlue. They made us check our carry-on bag because the flight was full. Not to worry, they said, the bag would be waiting for us on the jetway as soon as we got off the flight. Excellent, since we had to make a connection immediately after we landed. Well, we got off the JetBlue flight, and suddenly the Boston luggage guy said that all of the luggage was going to go to the carousel. I [AUDIO-LEFT]panicked-ly explained that our connecting flight took off in a matter of minutes and we needed the carry-on bag now…like we were told. He took our tag and said no problem. After waiting for a while, a flight attendant told us not to wait anymore —the luggage was taken to the carousel! What?!?! I told her that I had given my tag to the luggage guy because we had a connection, and he told us he was bringing it up. She reiterated that it was sent to the carousel. Yay! So, I had to exit the area, hightail it to the luggage carousel and then go through security all over again. Shockingly, we missed our connecting flight. JetBlue, there may be a lyric in Legally Blonde where they mention you and then sing "thank you," but I'd like to re-write it with another word before the "you."
The nachtmare didn't end there. P-town prides itself on never being hot, so much of the housing doesn't have A/C. Cut to, my mother was completely red-faced from the heat when we were walking around Provincetown, and I was so dying from my house having no air circulation that I wound up buying an emergency air conditioner. But before it got installed, I decided to take the teeny, tiny fan that was provided in my house and plug it into her room. I moved the dresser to get to a plug, and the mirror which I thought was attached to the dresser, wasn't. Yes, it completely fell forward…on my mother's head. It was fun for us to spend the end of the heat wave at Urgent Care while her reflexes were tested and she was asked if she was nauseous or dizzy. Thankfully, she didn't require a CAtscan. And now she has a new story to add to her roster of things I've done wrong (including the time I made a left turn as a teenager and "looked over his left shoulder by completely turning his body around!").
The last time my mother stayed for a long time in Provincetown was in the late 50's when she was pregnant with my oldest sister. She and my dad had a place near the water, and even though my mom was pregnant, she did most of the housework. My dad enjoyed himself by lying outside, strumming on his guitar. My mom couldn't understand why the neighbors seemed to ignore her and yet were friendly to him. She finally found out that they thought he was gay…and she was the maid! And that sums up my childhood.
Before I got up here, I did my talk show, Seth Speaks, for Sirius/XM. Brooke Shields came by, and even though it was between shows and she was in half Morticia make-up, she looked stunning. She said that Addams Family is going great. The audience has such a strong reaction to seeing the iconic Morticia Addams played by Brooke, who also has such iconic status in America.
photo by Jeremy Daniel |
Fran and Barry: We got bills! They're multiplying. And we nee-e-e-e-e-ed…to find a Rizzo.
Employee: I'm suggesting…Bonnie Franklin.
All: It's mortifying! (echo: mortifying, mortifying, mortifying…)
When we finally brought Brook onstage and decided to cast her, cash fell from the sky as we all sang…
"You're the one that I want! (You are the one I want)
Ooh, ooh, ooh…money!"
Adam Pascal was my guest at my Broadway Series at The Art House and sounded fantastic.
Tonight I'm playing and hosting the New York Civil Liberties Union benefit at NYU's Skirball Center. There are so many performers, and off the top of my head I know Gavin Creel, Nellie McKay, John Tartaglia, Daphne Rubin-Vega, Andrew Rannells and Nikki Rene Daniels are going to be there. Go to NYCLU.org for tix! And, if you love high belting that's incredibly inappropriate, watch my latest Obsessed video where Kate Shindle adds high A flats to a slew of songs. Earplugs not included. Peace out!
(Seth Rudetsky has played piano in the pits of many Broadway shows including Ragtime, Grease and The Phantom of the Opera. He was the artistic producer/conductor for the first five Actors Fund concerts including Dreamgirls and Hair, which were both recorded. As a performer, he appeared on Broadway in The Ritz and on TV in "All My Children," "Law and Order C.I." and on MTV's "Made" and "Legally Blonde: The Search for the Next Elle Woods." He has written the books "The Q Guide to Broadway" and "Broadway Nights," which was recorded as an audio book on Audible.com. He is currently the afternoon Broadway host on Sirius/XM radio and tours the country doing his comedy show, "Deconstructing Broadway." He can be contacted at his website SethRudetsky.com, where he has posted many video deconstructions.)