Everything is a mess. And also on Smash! Derek is pissed at Julia for not having more pages; Ivy Lynn is losing her voice and taking prednisone (and she's hyper allergic to drugs!); and Ellis wants to make sure Eileen knows all the hot goss. Yes, we're days away from the workshop. Is this a chance for Karen to step in?! According to an eavesdropping Karen, maybe!
Ivy Lynn is worried about the bad side affects of prednisone. And she should be, based on prior knowledge of the show. (Real actors, not so much.) Karen is taking her night to learn everything, just in case. And Julia is making the world's sloppiest pancakes, because how else does pancake batter get on her pajamas and her face? Women! Smash really dislikes them. Honestly, her pancake makeup here is like a joke about how unfeminine she is. Even Brian D'Arcy James is like, "Thank god I came in time."
Ivy Lynn walks in ready to sing, and Karen is disappointed. She's still disappointed when she's given a bar mitzvah gig. Sorry for the income! Maybe it'll pay that outrageous credit card fee of $326.38. She's better than us because she's from the Midwest, you know.
Eileen is ready to spend money herself, including a new apartment that Ellis found for her courtesy of real estate agent Hale Apperman (any The Magicians fans out there?). That being said, even Eileen isn't ready to spend $10,000 on an apartment. So relatable. So she goes to a downtown bar with Ellis and spends $7 on a martini instead of the usual $20 at the Carlyle. This is all a gateway moment to her taking a Lower East Side apartment, presumably with the money she's saving on martinis. I would love to see Anjelica Huston out and about on the LES, personally.
Julia tells Tom she kissed Michael Swift, which accomplishes nothing but making her feel better. And while she's absolving her conscience, Ivy Lynn is performing the most sacred of Smash tropes: singing in her mirror in her bedroom, while Karen-as-Marilyn lets her know she's "just OK." Oh no, this must be the first side effect of that evil drug prednisone. At least she gets Sam and Ton to come over and keep her company. In this age of social distancing, we'd have to settle for FaceTime.
Things are just OK at the bar mitzvah. Karen doesn't know the bar mitzvah boy's name (always a great start). She somehow knows the words to "Hava Nagila," which is honestly more than we could have expected. Then she has the band play "Shake It Out," and she's a hit! Has anyone else noticed how much this show loves Karen and hates Ivy Lynn? Am I projecting? Case in point, she gets a card for more work at the end of it. She treats it like a joke, but turns out the card is for Bobby Raskin, "like Tommy Mottola." This gal can't fall down without landing in a pile of cash!
While all that is happening, Julia tugs clothes on over her white silk pajamas to go for a walk. She sheds most of it to meet Michael Swift in the rehearsal studio after he calls. And they end up on the studio couch together. Topless! Oh, Julia. You're not even on prednisone! The next day at rehearsal isn't even awkward, so score one for endorphins. She even finished the lyrics to "History Is Made at Night"! Is there anything sexy Michael Swift can't do?
Maybe keep Ivy Lynn from melting down in rehearsal, because after Derek berates her she loses it on him. In addition to telling him he's not that good in bed (or good looking), she also pointed out that maybe another Marilyn Monroe could do a better job. "Miss Cartwright?" Sorry Karen, you'll have to wait at least another episode for your shot.
"Who You Are," "History Is Made at Night"
No one new again