STAGESTRUCK by Peter Filichia: Broadway Astrology

Special Features   STAGESTRUCK by Peter Filichia: Broadway Astrology
Some of us belong to the stars," sings Billy Fisher, a/k/a Billy Liar, in Billy, the London hit musical of 23 years ago. And it's true. How many of you check your horoscopes each and every day?

Some of us belong to the stars," sings Billy Fisher, a/k/a Billy Liar, in Billy, the London hit musical of 23 years ago. And it's true. How many of you check your horoscopes each and every day?

Well, as Harold Rome wrote in I Can Get It for You Wholesale, "It's kinda fun to half-believe it. What's a person got to lose?"

But if you're really interested in Broadway, well, then, you really need to consult this special horoscope.

ARIES (from the opening of Three Wishes for Jamie to the closing of Zombie Prom) -- Be wise, be smart, be safe. Be happy. Gray skies are gonna clear up; put on a happy face. You've got possibilities, maybe even a lot. You're gonna love tomorrow. Look to the lilies. Go visit your grandmother. Last but not least, those of you born under the sign of the Ram are golden today, so you should listen to "The Golden Ram" from Two by Two. TAURUS (from the opening of Allah Be Praised to the closing of Two Gentlemen of Verona) -- Plant a radish. You too can be a puppet. You are you. You are not someone else -- someone else is someone else. Learn your lessons well. Live and let live; love and let love. Never give anything away. Never, never be an artist. Find out what they like, and how they like it, and give it to them just that way. Tomorrow is another day. The sun'll come out tomorrow. You've got to have heart. Steady, steady. Don't cry. Take it in your stride.

GEMINI (from the opening of Gypsy to the closing of Eating Raoul) -- It's so nice to be civilized. If you were born during the lusty month of May, don't be afraid of romance. Don't be so frightened. Come on, take a chance.

MOONCHILDREN (from the Broadway opening of Godspell to the closing of Theatreworks' Jekyll & Hyde) You have stardom in your future -- just as the original cast of Moonchildren did. Did you know that that 16-performance flop in 1971 introduced us to such unknowns as James Woods, Edward Herrmann, Kevin Conway, Stephen Collins, Christopher Guest, Jill Eikenberry, Michael Tucker, Kenneth MacMillan, and Maureen Anderman? But they weren't unknown for long. Here's predicting that you too will have just as illustrious a future.

LEO (from the opening of the Mame revival to the closing of Rags) -- Take it on the chin. Don't quit while you're ahead. Kiss today goodbye. Keep the best of you -- do the rest of you. Be a lion, and don't worry about anyone who says, "I'd like to be a lion tamer." Don't go see Cats, for you'll find it too tame -- but based on what we're hearing from Minneapolis, get your Lion King tickets now.

VIRGO (from the opening of Smile at Me to B.D Wong's final performance in M. Butterfly) -- Here's that rainy day, but don't let it get you down. Light will shine. Just around the corner, there's a great day coming manana. Get away from it all. Get yourself a geisha. Plan it by the planets. Everything is possible.

LIBRA (from the opening of Sunny to the closing of Blues in the Night) -- Everything's all right. Laugh it up. Expect things to happen like the people in the fairy tales do. Think lovely thoughts. It's a lovely day today. Can you use any money today? Money isn't everything. Let 'em eat cake.

SCORPIO (from the opening of 110 in the Shade to the closing of Something More) -- You are the promised kiss of springtime. You're the top. Thou swell, thou witty, thou sweet, thou grand. Look for small pleasures. Look for a sky of blue. Be like the bluebird. Keep a hoppin'. Can't you do a friend a favor? Be kind to your parents, though they don't deserve it. Think big rich.

SAGITTARIUS (from the opening of Man of La Mancha to the closing of Wind in the Willows) -- To all you archers -- Twang!! Walk away, walk away. Can't you tell that it's reveille blowing? Use your noggin. Use your imagination. Nobody's perfect. It's high time that you take back your mink.

CAPRICORN (from the opening of Whoop-Up to the closing of City of Angels) -- Look to the rainbow. Make someone happy. Take a job, for heaven's sake. You mustn't kick it around. Finally, the Capricorn is as high as an elephant's eye! So if you meet a Gemini on your way to the IRT, could be coincidence, could be astrology. Did the planets plan it, or was it chance?

AQUARIUS (from the opening of Dance Me a Song to the closing of the Encores' Call Me Madam) -- What a night this is going to be! Kiss her now. Give it all you've got. Moreover, you will have a good hair day when the moon is in the seventh house and Jupiter aligns with Mars.

PISCES (from the opening of On the Twentieth Century to the closing of the Dutch Cyrano) -- You're a lovable lunatic. Take the moment. Make a friend today. It's fun to think. And finally, if you were born a Pisces -- and you meet a Taurus -- say, "Gosh, we got the planets goin' for us!"

Okay, friends, admit it. Did you figure out how the song references were placed in their astrological signs? Did you guess that, for the most part, they were based on when the shows they came from were born (i.e., originally opened)?

Well, what other way is there to do it? I'll admit it may not be astrologically scientific. (Is that an oxymoron?) I mean, even Albert Innaurato's one Broadway hit opened on May 21, 1977 -- thus making Gemini a Taurus. But only by one day. Whaddaya think? Close enough?

-- Peter Filichia is the New Jersey drama critic for the Star Ledger.
You can e-mail him at

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