Read the Ten Funniest Jokes on the 2015 Edinburgh Fringe; Winner Announced

News   Read the Ten Funniest Jokes on the 2015 Edinburgh Fringe; Winner Announced
 
The annual competition for the Funniest Joke of the Fringe at the Edinburgh Festival, awarded by TV comedy channel "Dave," has been won by comic Darren Walsh for his joke, "I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It's Hans free," heard in his comedy show Punderbolt.



The award is voted by the public after a panel of judges, seeing an average of 60 shows each, compile a shortlist of jokes. Walsh's joke garnered 23% of the public vote.


The other finalists in the Top Ten list are as follows:

2. Stewart Francis: Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse … but enough about Kanye West.

3. Adam Hess: Surely every car is a people carrier?

4. Masai Graham: What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter. 5. Dave Green: If I could take just one thing to a desert island, I probably wouldn’t go.

6. Mark Nelson: Jesus fed 5,000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread. That’s not a miracle. That’s tapas.

7. Tom Parry: Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight. Blue sky at night: day.

8. Alun Cochrane: The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper. She was wearing massive gloves.

9. Simon Munnery: Clowns divorce: custardy battle.

10. Grace the Child: They’re always telling me to live my dreams. But I don’t want to be naked in an exam I haven’t revised for.

The following also received honorable mentions:

  • Jenny Collier: I never lie on my CV, because it creases it.
  • Ian Smith: If you don’t know what introspection is, you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
  • Tom Ward: I usually meet my girlfriend at 12:59 because I like that one-to-one time.
  • Gyles Brandreth: Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I’m reminded of the definition of a gentleman. It’s someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn’t.
  • Ally Houston: Let me tell you a little about myself. It’s a reflexive pronoun that means "me."
  • James Acaster: Earlier this year I saw "The Theory of Everything" – loved it. Should’ve been called "Look Who’s Hawking," that’s my only criticism.
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