The Labor Day telethon may offer Tony Orlando and John Ritter, but only at La MaMa's Telethon will you get Carol Channing, Little Richard, Andy Rooney, Siegfried & Roy and supermodel Ragu Mountain Woman. La MaMa's isn't a real telethon, of course; it's a new comedy by gender illusionists David Ilku and Ken Bullock.

. The two first met while playing separate gigs in Provincetown, in the summer of 1996. After an Off-Off-Off Broadway tryout at a venue called "Mother," Telethon now inaugurates the season at La MaMa's Club, Jan. 23.

Ilku is a member of "The Duelling Bankheads," who appeared at La MaMa in Double Take, Slow Burn (Mugs Ahoy!) and Jail Babes. Bullock has created such characters as Joe Bob Kim, a kung-fu gas station attendant; David-Marie, a cornpone cross-gender performance artist; and Ragu Mountain Woman, a toothless hag who imagines herself to be the next Claudia Shiffer.

Telethon, directed by Joshua Rosenzweig, runs Jan. 23-Feb. 1 at the Club at La MaMa E.T.C. On East 4th St. "It may take a village to raise a child," reads the press release, "but it takes a team of celebs to raise money for `manic depressives and co-dependent people from dysfunctional families who have dyslexia and attention deficit disorder.'" For tickets ($12) and information call (212) 475-7710.

--By David Lefkowitz